This joke was forwarded to me by my friend in British Columbia & I thought you might enjoy it.
Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading society, Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as ‘Hillbillies.’ You must now refer to them as
APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS .
And furthermore,
************************************************
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a ‘babe’ or a ‘chick’ – She is a
‘ BREASTED AMERICAN.’
2. She is not ‘easy’ – She is
‘HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.’
3. She is not a ‘dumb blonde’ – She is a
‘LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.’
4. She has not ‘been around’ – She is a
‘PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.’
5. She does not ‘nag’ you – She becomes
‘ VERBALLY REPETITIVE.’
6. She is not a ‘two-bit hooker’ – She is a
‘ LOW COST PROVIDER.’
*****************************************
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a ‘beer gut‘ – He has developed a
‘LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.’
2. He is not a ‘bad dancer’ – He is
‘ OVERLY CAUCASIAN.’
3. He does not ‘get lost all the time’ – He
‘ INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.’
4. He is not ‘balding’ – He is in
‘FOLLICLE REGRESSION.’
5. He does not act like a ‘total ass’ – He develops a case of
RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.’
6. It’s not his ‘crack’ you see hanging out of his pants – It’s
‘REAR CLEAVAGE.’
Now you are politically correct.
Beth Ann
Jan 15, 2013 @ 06:30:32
Rear cleavage…hahhhahhahhahha! Thanks for the giggles this morning!
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benzeknees
Jan 15, 2013 @ 12:30:15
Isn’t that just such a nicer way to say butt crack?
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Beth Ann
Jan 15, 2013 @ 13:48:07
Definitely! Now if I can only remember to use it the next time it is appropriate!
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mixedupmeme
Jan 15, 2013 @ 07:00:39
I’m going to flunk the test.
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benzeknees
Jan 15, 2013 @ 12:31:21
I’m sorry to hear that! Maybe you’re just too cool to be PC?
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mixedupmeme
Jan 15, 2013 @ 13:24:58
Well, I am cold. lol Freezing here.
It is a cute list. 🙂
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benzeknees
Jan 15, 2013 @ 17:12:02
Are you in California? Hate to say it got to 67 degrees F here today which you might think is cold but is very warm for winter here. It was raining a bit, melting a lot of snow – but when it gets cold tonight it’s going to freeze into a giant skating rink.
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Doggy's Style
Jan 15, 2013 @ 07:38:13
LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY
Loved it!
LOW COST PROVIDER. and this was even better.
Thanks for the laugh.
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benzeknees
Jan 15, 2013 @ 12:27:37
Sometimes I get some goodies! Glad you enjoyed!
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DiatribesAndOvations.com
Jan 15, 2013 @ 09:36:34
I’m certainly TICKLED! Thanks for the smiles!
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benzeknees
Jan 15, 2013 @ 12:28:12
Are you tickled pink?
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The artist still known as The Idiot
Jan 15, 2013 @ 09:50:37
Horizontally accessible…… Love it! 🙂
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benzeknees
Jan 15, 2013 @ 12:28:52
Very PC don’t you think? Missing you!
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Mark Petruska
Jan 15, 2013 @ 14:42:17
“Overly caucasian.” Snort. Yeah, that about sums it up.
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benzeknees
Jan 15, 2013 @ 17:21:14
Is that like “white men can’t jump”?
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John Erickson
Jan 15, 2013 @ 17:14:38
I’m not a follicle regressionist, I’m a follicle denier! And sadly, I know a few guys who could pass on the “breasted American” category…..
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benzeknees
Jan 15, 2013 @ 17:22:54
There are a few . . . Hubby is follicley challenged!
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Jen and Tonic
Jan 15, 2013 @ 21:21:14
“Breasted American” is way better than Mel Gibson’s “Sugar Tits”.
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benzeknees
Jan 16, 2013 @ 02:58:42
Just about anything is better that “Sugar Tits!”
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El Guapo
Jan 16, 2013 @ 09:44:56
Great lists!
Fortunately,as someone not Politically Correct, I can go with “Pez Head” and “Jackass”, both of which aree gender neutral!
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benzeknees
Jan 16, 2013 @ 15:37:40
So is Morehead which is hubby’s smash up of moron & meat head!
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El Guapo
Jan 16, 2013 @ 15:40:23
Pretty sure I’m going to have to start using that…
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benzeknees
Jan 16, 2013 @ 17:25:20
You go right ahead!
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Carrie Rubin
Jan 16, 2013 @ 17:43:52
These are great! I love ‘ VERBALLY REPETITIVE.’ I think my sons would agree that I am this some times. 🙂
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benzeknees
Jan 16, 2013 @ 18:06:15
I keep saying they just need to listen the first time . . . then I wouldn’t have to repeat myself, ya know
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Carrie Rubin
Jan 16, 2013 @ 18:10:17
Oh, believe me, I know. 🙂
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Roly
Jan 20, 2013 @ 00:42:32
LOL Good start to my day, thanks. ….. I and my computer have both been receiving care and attention and I am pleased to say I can now read and comment again. Long may it last…….
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benzeknees
Jan 20, 2013 @ 01:17:59
Good to see you back Roly! Have missed you!
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Tilly Bud - The Laughing Housewife
Jan 20, 2013 @ 13:11:59
I love ‘overly Caucasian’! Brilliant.
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benzeknees
Jan 20, 2013 @ 22:49:08
Loved that one too!
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