I’m Older Than Dirt !!

Courtesy Microsoft Clip Arts

Answer the quiz at the bottom to see if you are also older than dirt.  This isn’t my personal experience but it could be.

Someone asked the other day,

‘What was your favorite fast food when you were growing up?’
‘We didn’t have fast food when I was growing up ?’  I informed him , ‘All the food was slow.’

‘C”mon, seriously. Where did you eat?’
‘It was a place called ‘at home!’ I explained.   ’Mom cooked every day and when Dad got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table & if I didn’t like what was put on my plate, I was allowed to sit there until I did like it.’

By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn’t tell him the part about how I had to have permission to leave the table.

Here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood if I figured his system could have handled it :

• Some parents NEVER owned their own house, wore Levis , set foot on a golf course, traveled out of the country or had a credit card.
• My parents never drove me to school. I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds and only had one speed, (slow).
• We didn’t have a television in our house until I was 10. It was, of course, black and white, and the station went off the air at 11, after playing the national anthem and a poem about God. It came back on the air at about 6 a.m. and there was usually a locally produced news and farm show on, featuring local people.
• I never had a telephone in my room. The only phone was on a party line. Before you could dial, you had to listen to make sure some people you didn’t know weren’t already using the line.
• Pizzas were not delivered to our home. . . but milk was.
• All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers — my brother delivered a newspaper, six days a week. He had to get up at 5AM every morning.
• Movie stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the movies. There were no movie ratings because all movies were responsibly produced for everyone to enjoy viewing, without profanity or violence or most anything offensive.

Growing up isn’t what it used to be, is it?

MEMORIES:

How many do you remember?

• Pop bottles with bottle tops & stoppers with lots of holes in the top (for sprinkling laundry with before steam irons)
• Head lights dimmer switches on the floor.
• Ignition switches on the dashboard.
• Pant leg clips for bicycles without chain guards.
• Soldering irons you heat on a gas burner.
• Using hand signals for cars without turn signals.

Older Than Dirt Quiz :
Count all the ones you remember, NOT the ones you were told about !!   Ratings at the bottom.

1. Candy cigarettes

2. Coffee shops with tableside juke boxes

3. Home milk delivery in glass bottles

4. Party lines on the telephones

5. Newsreels before the movie

6. TV test patterns came on at night after the last show & were there until TV shows started again in the morning. (there were only 3 channels !! [if you were fortunate]

7. Peashooters

8. Howdy Doody

9. 45 RPM records

10.Hi-fi’s records

11. Metal ice trays with lever

12. Blue flashbulb

13. Cork popguns

14. Studebakers

15. Wash tub wringers

If you remembered 0-3 = You’re still young
If you remembered 3-6 = You are getting older
If you remembered 7-10 = Don’t tell your age, &
If you remembered 11-15 =

You’re older than dirt !!! THAT’S ME !!!

I might be older than dirt but those memories are some of the best parts of my life.

May Long or Victoria Weekend

Courtesy Microsoft Clip Arts

We are now into the time of year when long weekends are more frequent. It all started with what I often think of the first long weekend of summer (even though technically it’s still spring.)  I really don’t understand why Canada celebrates Queen Victoria’s birthday when England doesn’t celebrate it, but I’m all for extra days off!  Since I’m currently unemployed it doesn’t make a whole lot of difference to me, it just means hubby will be home an extra day.  And what does hubby do when he has extra time off?  He works on some kind of project!

A few weeks ago (when the weather started to warm up here), I started using our box fan to blow lightly over me at night when I was sleeping (still get night sweats).  As it got warmer, the fan got moved between the living room during the day & the bedroom at night.  It was getting tiring moving the fan all the time, so I asked hubby to buy me a small fan to stay in the bedroom full time.  Even though we have central air conditioning in our apartment, it doesn’t seem to cool too much yet & there are only registers in front of the windows to cool whole rooms.

Hubby never buys anything, even a fan, without researching all the alternatives.  After his research, hubby decided we needed a ceiling fan in the bedroom.  So he came home one day last week with one.  He planned to install the fan on the long weekend.  Sunday while I was napping, hubby started to install the fan.  Hubby & I work very well together on home improvement projects.  By the time I awoke from my nap, hubby had the main part of the unit installed on the ceiling & we just needed to install the fan blades & the lights.  We got it all together & the lights didn’t work.  The fan would come on, but not the lights.  After much cursing on hubby’s part, I talked him into walking away from the project & leaving it for the next day.

The next day hubby returned the part of the unit that controls the lights to the store & they replaced it.  He came home & installed the new unit & the lights still didn’t work.  Much cursing followed again.  I dragged hubby out of the room & handed him the instruction manual again.  He re-read the wiring portion of the book, had a short nap & then re-tackled the wiring.  With me reading the instructions, he went through all the wiring again & found an electrical connection that had come loose when all the wires were being stuffed back into the unit.  The lights now work!  And I now have a fan with a remote so I don’t have to climb on the bed to reach the chain pulls.

Too bad hubby didn’t think about the insulation in the light he removed & let it sit on the bed all day while he installed the fan.  I got into bed the first night & boy did I itch until I figured out what was going on!

Tickle Me Tuesday – 052113

Courtesy Microsoft Clip Arts

Tenjooberrymuds

Travelling in Canada ? Maybe you need to understand Tenjooberrymuds!

I was recently in Vancouver and decided to learn the Chinese language, so I could understand the check-outs at McDonalds.  My next move is to learn Indian, so I can understand my doctors and the person who answers the phone when I have a warranty problem.  Yep, by the time you read this, you too will be able to understand the 1st line.

“TENJOOBERRYMUDS”… (first line)

In order to continue getting-by in Canada (our home land), we all need to learn the NEW English language! Practice by reading the following conversation until you are able to understand the term “TENJOOBERRYMUDS”.  With a little patience, you ‘ll be able to fit right in.

Now, here goes…

The following is a telephone exchange between maybe you as a hotel guest and room-service somewhere in good old Canada today…….

Room Service : “Morrin. Roon sirbees.”

Guest : “Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service.”

Room Service: ” Rye . Roon sirbees…morrin! Joowish to oddor sunteen???”

Guest: “Uh….. Yes, I ‘d like to order bacon and eggs.”

Room Service: “Ow July den?”

Guest: “…..What??”

Room Service: “Ow July den?!?… Pryed, boyud, poochd?”

Guest: “Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry. Scrambled, please.”

Room Service: “Ow July dee baykem? Crease?”

Guest: “Crisp will be fine.”

Room Service: “Hokay. An Sahn toes?”

Guest: “What?”

Room Service: “An toes. July Sahn toes?”

Guest: “I… Don’t think so.”

RoomService: “No? Judo wan sahn toes???”

Guest: “I feel really bad about this, but I don’t know what ‘judo wan sahn toes’ means.”

RoomService: “Toes! Toes!…Why Joo don Juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?”

Guest: “Oh, English muffin!!! I ‘ve got it! You were saying ‘toast ‘… Fine…Yes, an English muffin will be fine.”

RoomService: “We bodder?”

Guest: “No, just put the bodder on the side.”

RoomService: “Wad?!?”

Guest: “I mean butter… Just put the butter on the side.”

RoomService: “Copy?”

Guest: “Excuse me?”

RoomService: “Copy… tea… meel?”

Guest: “Yes. Coffee, please… And that’s everything.”

RoomService: “One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin, we bodder on sigh and copy …. Rye ??”

Guest: “Whatever you say…”

RoomService: “Tenjooberrymuds.”

Guest: “You’re welcome”

Remember I said “By the time you read through this YOU WILL UNDERSTAND ‘TENJOOBERRYMUDS’ “…….and you do, don’t you!

Please Help Find Nichole

Reblogged from Guapola:

Just in case . . . I could never live with myself if she were kidnapped & one of my bloggy friends could help.

In & Out of Hot Water!

Courtesy Microsoft Clip Arts

Monday & Tuesday were very interesting days around here. The condo board needed to make some repairs to our plumbing, so they scheduled a water shut-off for Monday from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m.  Since I rarely leave the apartment, I had forgotten about it.  I ran a load of laundry at 8:22 a.m. when the landscaping people were running their mowers back & forth over the little bit of lawn we have between the 2 buildings.  And of course, since it’s been warm, I had the windows open & they woke me up – the reason I threw a load of laundry in so early.  It seemed to me the water in the washer was a little cool but I didn’t worry about it because I prefer to wash in cool water anyway.

Later in the day I wanted to rinse out the tin cans before putting them in the recycling bin, but there was no water (which was when I remembered about the notice in the main vestibule).  By 8 p.m. we still had no water, so hubby called the condo board emergency line & they phoned back to let us know there had been a glitch – we should have water in about an hour.  Sure enough we had water about an hour & a half later, but no hot water!  We had to run the taps for a good long time to get all the air & crap out of the lines – but no hot water.  At first we thought it was just going to take the water heater a while to warm up, so we decided to check it in the morning.

Tuesday morning – no hot water.  Dishes in the sink, laundry to be done & no showers for us.  Bird bathed with wet wipes so I wouldn’t feel so grimy.  The cold water was working so I could brush my teeth at least.  Finally, a little before 4 p.m. the hot water came back on & I had to run the lines wide open to get the air & crud out again.

You don’t realize how much you miss something until it’s gone!

Happy Birthday Princess Rosebud!

Today is Princess Rosebud’s birthday.  She writes an excellent blog called Confessions of a Tugboats Captain’s Wife.  She’s kinda busy right now, her son is home for a week or so & her hubby is coming home from the sea, too.  Please go visit her & wish her a great day!

Tickle Me Tuesday – 051513

Canadian Jokes

Before anyone gets their knickers in a twist, I’m just posting them before a non-Canadian does in an attempt to embarrass us Canadians.  See, we can laugh at our ourselves!

JOKE # 1
After the North American Beer Festival, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from Corona sits down and says, ‘Hey Senor, I would like the world’s best beer, a Corona .’ The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him.

The guy from Budweiser says, ‘I’d like the best beer in the world, give me ‘The King Of Beers’, a Budweiser.’ The bartender gives him one.

The guy from Coors says, ‘I’d like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors.’ He gets it.

The guy from Molson Canadian sits down and says, ‘Give me a Coke.’
The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered.

The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask, ‘Why aren’t you drinking a Molson’s?’

The Molson Canadian president replies, ‘Well, I figured if you guys aren’t drinking beer, neither would I.‘

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JOKE #2
A Canadian is walking down the street with a case of beer under his arm.
His friend Doug stops him and asks, ‘Hey Bob! Whacha get the case of beer for?’

‘I got it for my wife, eh.’ answers Bob.
‘Oh!’ exclaims Doug, ‘Good trade.‘

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JOKE #3
An Ontarian wanted to become a Newfie. He went to the neurosurgeon and asked,
‘Is there anything you can do to me that would make me into a Newfie?’

‘Sure it’s easy,’ replied the neurosurgeon. ‘All I have to do is cut out 1/3 of your brain, and you’ll be a Newfie.’

He was very pleased and immediately underwent the operation. However, the neurosurgeon’s knife slipped and instead of cutting 1/3 of the patient’s brain, the surgeon accidentally cut out 2/3 of the patient’s brain.

He was terribly remorseful and waited impatiently beside the patient’s bed as the patient recovered from the anesthetic. As soon as the patient was conscious, the neurosurgeon said to him, ‘I’m terribly sorry, but there was a ghastly accident. Instead of cutting out 1/3 of your brain, I accidentally cut out 2/3 of your brain.’
The patient replied, ‘Qu’est-ce que vous avez dit, monsieur?‘

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JOKE #4
Did you hear about the war between Newfoundland and Nova Scotia ?

The Newfies were lobbing hand grenades; the Nova Scotians were pulling the pins
and throwing them back.

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JOKE #5

In Canada, we have two seasons… six months of winter and six months of poor snowmobiling.

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JOKE #6
One day an Englishman, an American, and a Canadian walked into a pub together.
They proceeded to each buy a pint of Labatt Blue. Just as they were about to enjoy their beverages, three flies landed in their pints.

The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust. The American fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued drinking it as if nothing happened.
The Canadian picked the fly out of his drink and started shaking it over the pint, yelling,
‘SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT, YOU BASTARD!!!’

Rumor has it the Canadian was of Scottish descent.

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JOKE #7
A Quebecer, staying in a hotel in Edmonton phoned room service for some pepper.
‘Black pepper, or white pepper?’ asked the concierge.
‘Toilette pepper!’ yelled the Quebecer.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

This is for my friends in Southern Ontario who experienced snow over the Mother’s Day weekend:

If I Should Die . . .

Courtesy Microsoft Clip Arts

While I was in the hospital having my daughter in Winnipeg, I got new neighbors.  The woman (D) was younger than me & ran a daycare in her home.  When I went back to work D provided daycare for my daughter.  It was great for me because my daughter liked to sleep in till 9 a.m. & I had to be at work for 8 a.m., so I could just go into her room, wrap her in a blanket & take her next door, where D would put her in a crib until she woke up naturally.

D was very kind to me.  I was a single parent for a couple years & sometimes I would come home very tired – she would invite me in & put a hot meal in front of me while my daughter had a bath with her 2 children.  We got to be good friends.  She cared for my daughter when I developed a kidney stone & had to spend 3 days in the hospital on an emergency basis.  We were always there for each other.

One of the things I always admired about D was her ability to look after children & keep her home really clean.  You would find toys scattered about in designated play spaces, but the rest of the house was always so clean.  As soon as lunch was over, the dishes were done immediately.  The washer was constantly running, washing clothes & baby blankets.  It seemed like D never stopped.

I found out D’s mother had died when she was in her late 20′s from cancer, leaving D & her siblings with her father.  Being the oldest, D helped her father raise her younger siblings.  At 22, D suffered her own scare with cancer when she developed ovarian cancer.  She had a total hysterectomy.  A couple years later she developed cancer in her left breast.  She had a mastectomy just weeks before I first met her.  I would never have known because she always portrayed this strong image.

D was afraid she would die of cancer.  After her mother’s death, she remembered her aunts coming over to help D’s father clean out her mother’s property.  D remembered her aunts remarking about how dirty her mother’s house was (even though she’d been in the hospital for the last month of her life).  D never wanted anyone to say the same thing about her house if she should die & so she worked like a demon to keep her house spotless every day.

Is there something you’re afraid to have found if you passed away?  Have you got a secret stash or a drawer you wouldn’t want found?  This thought was prompted when our neighbor came over today to ask a favor since his father passed away just days after my hubby went & helped lift him from a fall. 

More Awards

I AM PART OF THE WORDPRESS FAMILY AWARD

THE RULES FOR THE AWARD ARE:

1. Display the award logo on your blog.
2. Link back to the person who nominated you.
3. Nominate 10 others you see as having an impact on your WordPress experience and family
4. Let your 10 Family members know you have awarded them

I was nominated for this award by Edward Hotspur.

Nominations: See below

I’VE BEEN TAGGED

I was tagged by Marsha Lee from TCHistory Gal.  The idea is to answer eleven questions set by her and then ask more questions to eleven others.  My questions:

1. What book are you reading right now?  I won’t actually name the book I am reading right now because I am reading the book to review it, but I did just finish re-reading the Necroscope series by Brian Lumley.  In between book reviews I am also reading The Womens Murder Club Series by James Patterson.  I have read a number of the books in this series previously, but some new books have been added to the series so it is good to start from the beginning again.
2. What mini-vacation (0-100 miles from your home) have you particularly enjoyed within the last year?  Last December hubby had to go to a business meeting in Calgary & I went along for a quick visit with our cousins Jason & Cindy & my two fur nieces Chloe & Pepper.  It was just an overnight visit, but it was a great little get-away.  Technically, Calgary is 300 kms. away from Edmonton, but it’s the only mini-vacation we’ve taken in the last 3 years.
3. What is your favorite form of entertainment?  I would rather read than do anything else in the world, but my second favorite entertainment is TV.  I enjoy Castle, Dancing with the Stars, Bones, Rizzoli & Isles, Law & Order, Criminal Minds, The Following, Revolution, Dr. Who, Defiance, Hawaii 5-0, Deadliest Catch, NCIS, Hell’s Kitchen, Body of Proof, Elementary, Hannibal, American Idol, Supernatural, Homeland, Chicago Fire, Person of Interest, Grey’s Anatomy, Motive, Scandal, Vegas & Blue Bloods.
4. Of what accomplishments are you the most proud?  I am most proud of the mother I was to my own child, stepchildren & children of my heart.  I always tried to be a good example & treated all my children with respect while expecting them to treat me with respect also.  I tried to instill a sense of accomplishment, good work ethics & kindness in them all.
5. Who has been most influential in your life in the past year?  I would have to say most of my blogging buddies have been very influential in my life in many different ways.  The sense of acceptance was a bane for my soul when I felt so alone.
6. If you were raising money for a favorite charity, where would you direct our checks?  My charity of choice would be the Muscular Dystrophy Association since I had a friend who was afflicted with this disease while I was growing up.  My second choice would be a cancer society for the loved ones of friends who have lost their fight or are still fighting this dreadful disease.
7. If you weren’t doing the work or career you are in, what would you like to be doing?  When I was in high school I wanted to be a Flight Attendant, but the waiting list was way too long the year I graduated so I went into office work instead.  Right now I am unemployed, but I would want to be a writer.
8. If you could have named yourself, what would your name be and why?  Since I hated the name my parents gave me, I did choose my name – the one I use now.  The name my parents gave me was misspelled on my birth certificate so I endured 12 years in school of teachers mispronouncing my name on the first day of school & all the kids laughing at the funny name the teachers called me.  I have not legally changed my name because it would break my mother’s heart, but I have used my adopted name for more years now than I used my real name.
9. What would you most like to tell your children, or important young person in your life but haven’t?  Since I’ve been very open with my children, I can’t think of anything I would want to tell them I haven’t already told them except how much I love them every day.
10. How do you change your mood when you are grumpy?  I try to wear bright colors & fake it till I make it.
11. What particular skill could you teach us on your blog?  I would hope people would take away the message that even though you may have had a hard life, there is always something to laugh about.

Here are the lucky people I’m tagging.

1. Rarasaur
2. Behind the Mask of Abuse
3. Pouring My Art Out
4. Enchanted Seashells
5. Guapola
6. Mark My Words
7. Elroy Jones
8. The Fur Files
9. Becoming Cliche
10. FASAB
11. It’s Just Life
12. Diatribes & Ovations
13. Archon’s Den
14. Photos from the Loony Bin

Tickle Me Tuesday – 050713

Twin sisters in a Newfoundland Nursing Home were turning one hundred years old.  The editor of the local newspaper told a photographer to get over there and take pictures of the two 100 year old twins.  One of the twins was hard of hearing and the other could hear quite well..

Once the photographer arrived he asked the sisters to sit on the sofa.

The deaf sister said to her twin, “WHAT DID HE SAY?”

“WE GOTTA SIT OVER THERE ON THE SOFA!” said the other.

“Now get a little closer together,” said the cameraman.

Again, “WHAT DID HE SAY?”

“HE SAYS, ‘SQUEEZE TOGETHER A LITTLE.’” So they wiggled up close to each other.

“Just hold on for a bit longer, I’ve got to focus a little,” said the photographer.

Yet again, “WHAT DID HE SAY?”

“HE SAYS HE’S GONNA FOCUS! “

With a big grin the deaf twin shouted out, “OH LARD JESUS! – BOTH OF US????”

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After bypass surgery, a patient says to his doctor, “Can I start having sex?”
The doctor replies, “Yes, but only with your wife, your heart is not yet ready for any excitement!”

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Joe says to Paddy: “Close your curtains the next time you’re shagging your wife. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday.”
Paddy says: “Well the joke’s on them stupid bastards because I wasn’t even home yesterday.”