Home

Oh Happy Day!

39 Comments

Courtesy Online Stock Photos

Courtesy Online Stock Photos

Oh Happy Day . . . ! I couldn’t wait to share the news with my bloggy friends! While I was in the clinic having a shot in my knee this morning the federal government called to say I have finally been approved for Disability payments! Woohoo!
It only took almost 10 months, numerous doctor visits, multiple forms filled out, several letters, me showing up on their doorstep & questioning them to finally get an approval! I won’t get any money for 3 – 4 months & I don’t know how much I will be getting, but I’ll get something! It will be a big help paying for the extra meds I need now for my COPD!  I had to quit physio yesterday because we don’t have any benefits yet from Kelvin’s job & without me having an income, we simply couldn’t afford it.
I am chair dancing with joy! ( \ ) ( l ) ( / )
Thank you to so many of you for keeping positive thoughts coming my way, your positive thoughts had an effect I’m sure!

Tickle Me Tuesday – 081914

19 Comments

Courtesy Microsoft Clip Arts

Courtesy Microsoft Clip Arts

THE DIFFERENCE IF YOU MARRY A SASKATCHEWAN GIRL

Three friends married women from different parts of the world…..

The first man married a Filipino. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning.  It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.
The second man married a Thai. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking.  The first day he didn’t see any results, but the next day he saw it was better.  By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table.

The third man married a girl from SASKATCHEWAN.  He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal.  He said the first day he didn’t see anything, the second day he didn’t see anything but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher.       

He still has some difficulty when he pees.

*************************************

We have been having a heat wave here in Edmonton, at the same time as the A/C in the building I live in broke down & so did the elevator!  This is what I feel like:

Melting Dog

Tickle Me Tuesday – 081214

11 Comments

Courtesy Microsoft Clip Arts

Courtesy Microsoft Clip Arts

You may be wondering why my Tickle Me Tuesday post this week is a little different.  As I was preparing my blog this week, I learned we had lost a great comedian yesterday.  For many years Robin Williams provided me with many laughs & what better place to honor his comedy than on a post intended to make you laugh?

I first became aware of Robin Williams as an alien named Mork on the series Mork & Mindy.  From the first episode I was hooked – Nanoo, Nanoo!  I loved the chemistry between Robin Williams & Pam Dawber and Robin & Jonathan Winters.  I never missed an episode & at times I laughed till the tears rolled down my face.

Some of my favorite movies were Mrs. Doubtfire, Good Will Hunting, Patch Adams, Bicentennial Man, What Dreams May Come, Awakenings, The Birdcage, License to Wed, Nine Months, Moscow on the Hudson, Father’s Day (I have License to Wed on my PVR waiting for a rainy afternoon to watch it).

I also loved his stand up specials, especially Comic Relief with Billy Crystal & Whoopi Goldberg!

RIP Robin Williams!  You will be missed!

1951 - 2014

1951 – 2014

Tickle Me Tuesday – 080514

28 Comments

Courtesy Microsoft Clip Arts

Courtesy Microsoft Clip Arts

This is starting to become a habit, showing up on Tuesday, I’ll have to watch myself . . . This week was even more difficult because Monday (yesterday) was a civic holiday so we had an extra day off which totally messes with my brain as far as what day it is.

Someone has finally explained the reason baby diapers have brand names such as “Luvs” & “Huggies”, while undergarments for old people are called “Depends.”

You see, when babies mess their pants, people are still gonna Luv’em & Hug’em.   However, when old people mess their pants, it “Depends” on who’s in the will.

********************

 

Pamela Wallin  called Mike Duffy into her office one day and said, “Mike, I have a plan to win back Canadian support for you, Patrick Brazeau & me”

“Great Pamela, but how?” asked Mike.

“We’ll get some cheesy clothes & shoes, like those Middle Class Canadians wear, then stop at the pound & pick up a Labrador retriever. Then, we’ll go to a nice old country bar in Alberta & show them how much admiration & respect we have for the hard working people living there.”

So they did & found just the place they were looking for in Coronation, Alberta. With the dog in tow, they walked inside & stepped up to the bar.

The Bartender took a step back & said, “Hey! Aren’t you Mike Duffy & Pamela Wallin?”

“Yes we are!” said Pamela, “And what a lovely town you have here. We were passing through & Mike suggested we stop & take in some local color.”

They ordered a round of bourbon for the whole bar & started chatting up a storm with anyone who would listen.

A few minutes later, a grizzled old rancher came in, walked up to the Labrador, lifted up its tail, looked underneath, shrugged his shoulders & walked out. A few moments later, in came another old rancher. He walked up to the dog, lifted up its tail, looked underneath, scratched his head & left the bar.

For the next hour, another dozen ranchers came in, lifted the dog’s tail & left shaking their heads.

Finally, Pamela asked, “Why did all those old ranchers come in & look under the dog’s tail? Is it some sort of custom?”

“Lord no,” said the bartender. “Someone’s out there running around town, claiming there’s a Labrador Retriever in here with two assholes!”

 

Tickle Me Tuesday- 072914

37 Comments

Courtesy Microsoft Clip Arts

Courtesy Microsoft Clip Arts

I’m baaaaaaaaaaack! Not sure if I’m back on a regular basis yet, but I’m going to try to do a post from time to time.

Just a side note:  As most of you know I was diagnosed with COPD in Dec./13 & it took me 6 long months to be able to get in to see a pulmonologist (lung doctor).    After the standard breathing function test, my very nice new doctor informed me I was a little worse off than I had originally thought & proceeded to order so many tests & exams he kept me very busy for the next few weeks.  Because of my lung problems, this caused me to be exhausted most of the time & I needed some time off to recuperate & adjust to my new circumstances.  But that’s not why we’re here today – this is supposed to be on the lighter side!

 

You can tell a lot about a woman’s mood just by her hands. If they are holding a gun, she’s probably angry.
 
Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.
 
You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.

I don’t like making plans for the day because then the word “premeditated” get’s thrown around in the courtroom.
 
I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row,
 
I decided to change calling the bathroom the John and renamed it the Jim.  I feel so much better saying I went to the jim this morning.
 
Dear paranoid people who check behind shower curtains for murderers, if you find one, what’s your plan?

Tickle Me Tuesday – 070814

35 Comments

 

Courtesy Microsoft Clip Arts

Courtesy Microsoft Clip Arts

Sheer Nightgowns Can Be Fatal

A husband walks into Victoria Secret to purchase a sheer negligee for his wife.  He is shown several possibilities, ranging in price from $250 to $500 – the more sheer the higher the price.  He opts for the sheerest items, pays for it and takes it home.  He presents the gift to his wife & asks her to put it on & model it for him.

Upstairs the wife, who is no dummy, decides to pretend she is wearing the gift, then return the negligee the next day & pocket the $500.  She appears naked on the balcony & strikes a pose.

The husband says, Good grief, you would think for $500 they would at least iron it!

He never heard the shot.

Funeral is on Thursday at Noon.  The coffin will be closed.

You Are a Widow Are You NotAny Insanity in Your Family

 

Tickle Me Tuesday – 062414

34 Comments

 

Courtesy Microsoft Clip Arts

Courtesy Microsoft Clip ArtsWhat religion is your bra?

A man walks into the ladies department of Macy’s & shyly walks up to the woman behind the counter & says, “I’d like to buy a bra for my wife.”

“What type of bra?” asks the clerk.

“Type?  There’s more than one type?”

“Look around,” says the saleslady, as she motions towards the selection of colors, shapes, materials & sizes.  “Actually with all this selection, there are really only 4 types of bras.”

“Really?” the man sighs with relief.  “What are they?”

“There are the Catholic, the Salvation Army, the Presbyterian and the Baptist.  Which one would you prefer?”

Now totally befuddled, the man asks about the differences between them.

The saleslady replies with, “It’s all really quite simple . . . The Catholic type supports the masses; the Salvation Army type lifts the fallen; the Presbyterian type keeps them staunch & upright; the Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills.”

*************************************

Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes?

If you have wondered why, but couldn’t figure out what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed!

(A} Almost Boobs…

{B} Barely there…

{C} Can’t Complain!…

{D} Dang!…

{DD} Double dang!…

{E} Enormous!…

{F} Fake…

{G} Get a Reduction…

{H} Help me, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!…

And then don’t forget the German type – Holtzemfromfloppen

Stephen King: Why The US Must Introduce Gun Control On Assault Weapons

8 Comments

benzeknees:

While I might not understand the politics of the blue/red states of which he speaks, I am certainly all for some type of gun control before we lose a whole generation to mass shootings!

Originally posted on Gun Control Now USA:

The bestselling author, owner of three handguns, explains why Americans should accept controls on assault weapons

High school students mourn dead after shooting

Kentucky high school students mourn classmates shot dead by Michael Carneal in 1997. He quoted the killer in Stephen King’s book Rage. Photograph: Getty Images

During my junior and senior years in high school, I wrote my first novel, then titled Getting It On. The story was about a troubled boy named Charlie Decker with a domineering father, a load of adolescent angst and a fixation on Ted Jones, the school’s most popular boy. Charlie takes a gun to school, kills his algebra teacher and holds his class hostage.

Ten years later, after the first half-dozen of my books had become bestsellers, I revisited Getting It On, rewrote it, and submitted it to my paperback publisher under the pseudonym of Richard Bachman. It was published as Rage, sold a few thousand copies and disappeared…

View original 1,392 more words

Benzeknees – Professional Patient! Part 2

35 Comments

 

credit:  Online Stock Photos

credit: Online Stock Photos

This is a continuation from yesterday’s blog post.

After finishing our lunch, we headed to the Royal Alex Hospital (a very big hospital taking up a number of city blocks).  Luckily for me I have a Disabled Parking Pass, due to my difficulty with walking & we were able to park on a level which led right into the floor where the Respiratory Clinic is situated.  Unfortunately, this particular clinic is down a long hallway, turn left down a short hallway, turn right & walk down another very long hallway.  By the time we reached the clinic I was huffing & puffing so bad I didn’t need to ring the bell for service they could hear me trying to catch my breath.

Hubby was quite perturbed about the location & went in search of a wheelchair to help me get back to the vehicle when my test was done.  He was gone for a very long time!  I was taken into a small room with a row of chairs set up for blood draws.  A very nice lady then inserted a needle right into the pulse point of my right wrist.  I will not tell a lie – this hurts!!!  Even though the lady was very good at her job (I have had this test done before where the person missed the pulse & had to dig around in my wrist with the needle to find it).  Thankfully, it only takes a minute once the needle is in & you’re done!

I went out to the waiting room to wait for hubby to return.  He finally showed up with a wheelchair & lots of complaints about everywhere he had to go to try to find the chair.  He wheeled me back to the parking lot entrance & then had to return the chair right away to the place he found it or they would have come searching for him!

By the time I got home Tuesday night, I was absolutely exhausted!

Wednesday morning I began to fast for the second half of the MIBI test.  Hubby once again drove me after he saw how exhausted I was from the first go round.  I was told I would need to eat right after the test, so while I went in to the clinic, hubby went in search of a Subway restaurant (which is surprisingly difficult to find in downtown Edmonton).  Hubby had a staff meeting that evening over dinner time, so I wanted half the sub for lunch & the other half for my dinner.

  • When I arrived I was told to wait in a waiting room which was full of people, all of them there for the second half of the MIBI test.  
  • People were called in one by one to have an injection of radioactive material & then sent back to the same waiting room to wait for 45 mins.  
  • Once you have your injection (just straight in your arm this time – no IV), they want you to eat right away!  But they didn’t explain this properly when they gave instructions, so hubby was still out searching for my lunch.  
  • I was given another cup of Ensure (yuck) to drink.
  • Because I had been shuffled around a lot the day before I didn’t bring a book to read, so completely out of character for me, I joined in the group discussion going on in the waiting room about news events, health issues, etc.
  • One by one we were all called to move into a different waiting room closer to the scanning room where we all met up again.  The second waiting room was much more sedate because there were other people there who looked worried about their upcoming tests(?)
  • I was the last of our group to be called in because I needed to use the chair & the others could use the regular tubular machine.
  • It took even longer the second day to get me positioned the same way as the day before & more pillows were used to jam me into place
  • This time I only needed to have the sitting up scan done for about 7 mins. & I was done for the day.  I met hubby in the waiting room where he had my Subway lunch.  We took it home & I ate it for dinner while he went back to work for his staff meeting.

On Thursday I felt like I had been hit by a truck.  I was aching in places I had never ached before.  I was tired & listless.  

June has been a very tough month for me.  I have had doctor’s appts. at least once a week & sometimes multiple doctor’s appts. every week.  My Outlook calendar is full of appointments!   And July looks to be shaping up the same way.

I have a number of other assessment to complete yet.  I have to be assessed for in-home oxygen, for changes to my anxiety & depression meds, for pulmonary rehab, in addition to regular check ups.  I have to continue to work on my disability claims with both the provincial & federal governments.

Maybe now you can understand why I call myself a professional patient? :)

 

Benzeknees – Professional Patient!

32 Comments

 

credit:  Online Stock Photos

credit: Online Stock Photos

Hi! Long time no hear from right? It’s been one of those weeks!  So few doctors or other health care professionals can honestly explain some of their tests to you, so I thought I would share my experiences with 2 tests I had to have this week.  I had a MIBI test for my heart this week as well as a blood gas test.   Part One (here) explains my experience of a MIBI test:

  • My test was scheduled for Tuesday a.m, so Sunday at midnight all uses of caffeine were prohibited including de-caff coffee, chocolate, soft drinks or ANYTHING ELSE which contains caffeine.
  • Since I am extremely claustrophobic I had been assured I could have the test done in a chair, like a dentist’s chair with a camera & wires hooked up to my chest instead of in a tubular machine like an MRI.  Since I suffer from Panic & Anxiety Disorder, I spent the whole day on Monday worrying about the test for the next day.
  • Monday at midnight, fasting begins.  You are allowed to have water only, but since I have problems with incontinence since my hysterectomy, water was completely out of the picture for me.
  • Clothing required for the test – women must wear a bra (I never wear one anymore so I had to go searching for one) & a blouse that buttons down the front.  I don’t own any blouses that button down the front!  I found one in the back of my closet with snaps down the front, it was bit too tight, but I wore it anyway
  • My test was scheduled for 9:30 a.m. Tuesday & I presented myself at the reception desk with all necessary paperwork, photo ID, etc. at 9:15.  The waiting room was almost full.  A few minutes later my name was called & I was ushered into a small cubicle with a curtain.
  • A lady showed up a few minutes later & starting sticking leads all over my chest & under my breasts.  She explained the test to me a bit better (would have been too late to back out at that point anyway) & assured me a doctor would be in the room with me the entire time I had one of the chemicals injected into my system.  She gave me a document to sign saying I understood all the consequences of the test which may include death!  When she saw me blanch at this phrase, she reminded me people have heart attacks all the time, you never know when & since I would be monitored by a doctor the whole time, I would be in good hands if something were to happen.
  • A few minutes later another young lady with hair the prettiest shade of mauve I have ever seen came to the cubicle & inserted an IV into my left arm.  She was very good with the needle & it didn’t hurt.  I was left sitting in the cubicle for approx. 10 mins. until the room for the test was available.
  • I was called into the room where I was given the option of sitting in a straight back chair or reclining on a stretcher with the head raised.  I opted for the chair.  A very nice lady introduced herself to me as the doctor who would be monitoring my vitals all through the test.  She explained what the chemicals would do to me, the possible side effects (headache, light-headedness, dizziness, clammy feeling, feeling flushed).  She explained the chemicals would only need to be in my system for about 10 mins. & if I was experiencing bad side effects she could inject me with another chemical through my IV & it would reverse the effects of the first chemical in about 2 – 3 mins.
  • They started the infusion through my IV & I was asked to tap my toes to help circulate the drugs through my system.  I started to feel flushed almost right away but it was not too bad so I stuck it out.   After about 7 mins. I started to feel very woozy & light-headed as well as clammy.  I asked if I could rest my arm on the tray table next to me for support & that is how I finished the test.  When it was over they flushed my system with the antidote, gave me a styrofoam cup of Ensure (yuck) & a cup of coffee (caffeine helps to flush this drug out of your system).
  • I was sent to another waiting room for about 20 mins. where I finished my Ensure & coffee
  • I was then called into another screening room where I saw the “chair” for the first time.  It did sort of look like a dentist’s chair except it was very narrow.  I had to maneuver myself into this chair so my back was fully against the back of the chair between a large grey plastic boxy looking thing (the camera) & the chair.
  • Once I finally was settled into the chair, pillows were brought in to make sure I was pushed as close to the camera as possible all along my left side.  The camera was then positioned very close to my chest & resting on my stomach.  I could not have taken a deep breath (which from their point of view was a good thing because they wanted me to breathe shallowly for the entire test).
  • It seemed to take forever for them to get the camera positioned right.  Meanwhile my left arm is resting on the top of the camera (so I can get closer to the left side of the machine) & it is getting numb.
  • When they finally found a position they liked I was asked to stay absolutely still for 5 mins. & breathe shallowly.  If I took a deep breath or coughed they would have to start the test over.
  • When this part of the test was finished they lowered the back of the chair so I was laying down & re-positioned the camera again.  Again the camera was very close to my chin & resting on my diaphragm.  I had to breathe shallowly for another 5 mins. while they took the second set of pictures.  They did not dim the lights which was a shame because a row of pot lights was shining right in my eyes & making it hard to concentrate on my breathing.
  • I was led to another waiting room to wait while they checked the pictures & my IV was removed.
  • Finally I was released for the day with instructions to present myself again the next day (Wed) at 1:30 p.m. for the second part of the test.
  • I was encouraged to drink lots of coffee to flush the chemicals out of my system.  I could eat & drink normally until 9:30 a.m. Wednesday when I was asked to fast again for the 4 hours prior to my test.

Because I was worried I might have to take extra anti-anxiety meds to stave off a panic attack, my hubby drove me to the test.  When I was released, we went & had some lunch at a nearby restaurant because I had an hour to kill before I had to appear at the Royal Alec Hospital one block away for a blood gas test.

Since this is turning into a novel, I’ll continue this tomorrow.  Stay tuned for the next installment of Benzeknees – Professional Patient!

Older Entries

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 844 other followers

%d bloggers like this: