How great my 2 year blogiversary should coincide with the American Thanksgiving, so no one will see this post until tomorrow anyway because they’ll be stuffing their faces with turkey & pumpkin pie (yum!)
I would like to thank all my blogging buddies for making these last 2 years such an enjoyable part of my life. I had moved to a new province, leaving family and friends behind & had no new friends except for a couple of people I worked with (who disappeared as quickly as my job). I was starving for friendship, to be able to talk to someone other than Kelvin & try my hand again at writing. What I found were the best people in the world, so supportive & friendly, who welcomed me into their worlds. So this post is for you (& you know who you are, even if you’re one of the ones I follow who doesn’t follow me back) Thank you again!The StudTwo priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates.St. Peter said, “I’d like to get you guys in now, but our computer’s down. You will have to go back to Earth for about a week, but you can’t go back as priests. What’ll it be?”
The first priest says, “I’ve always wanted to be an an eagle, soaring above the Rocky Mountains.”
“So be it,” says St. Peter and off flies the first priest.
The second priest mulls this over for a moment and asks, “Will any of this week ‘count’ St. Peter?”
“No I told you the computer’s down, there’s no way we can keep track of what you are doing.”
“In that case” says the second priest, “I’ve always wanted to be a stud.”
“So be it” says St. Peter and the second priest disappears.
A week goes by, the computer is fixed and the Lord tells St. Peter to recall the two priests.
“Will you have any trouble locating them? he asks.
“The first one should be easy,” says St. Peter, ”He’s somewhere over the Rockies, flying with the eagles. But the second one could prove to be more difficult.”
“Why?” asks the Lord
“He’s on a snow tire, somewhere in Saskatchewan “
Priests photo credit: www.freedigitalphotos.net
November 28, 2013
November 26, 2013
Hints on how to liven up your idle hours …
2. On all your cheque stubs, write ‘ For Marijuana’
3. Skip down the street rather than walk and see how many looks you get.
4. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
5. Sing along at the opera.
6. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream ‘I Won! I Won!’
7. When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the car park, yelling ‘Run For Your Lives! They’re Loose!’
8. Tell your children over dinner, ‘Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.’
And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity:
9. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.
November 19, 2013
November 12, 2013
November 5, 2013
Tomorrow will be my one year Anniversary posting Tickle Me Tuesday posts! These posts originally started out as Monday Mirth but then Hotspur started Romantic Mondays & I voluntarily moved to Tuesdays. Of course because of NaNoWriMo, I’m late posting this. Progress update: Not too good. Migraine on Sunday – no writing done; doctors appointment on Monday – no writing done. I’m hopeful to keep going if I can keep Kelvin from bothering me too much. In the meantime – enjoy!
November 1, 2013
Guess what? I decided to take the plunge this year & attempt NaNoWriMo. I have so many ideas floating around in my head, I’m going to try to get them down somewhere to see if I can make sense of them or even if they would make a good story. I have been flirting with one main theme for quite a while & I think through some of the details almost every night as I’m trying to fall asleep. Because I have nothing written down anywhere I think I am spending way too much time on the same thing over & over, so I want to try to flesh it out more by putting down what I know for sure at this point.
Of course, this means I won’t have as much time to spend reading blogs as I do now & it makes me very sad. I enjoy reading about everyone’s exploits so much, it’s the best part of my day! I am going to try scheduling my Tickle Me Tuesday posts & we’ll have to see what happens with Life with Kelvin (right now he’s driving me crazy because I told him I need to get some work done today, but he doesn’t consider blogging work so he’s laughing at me). If he doesn’t find a job soon, I think I’ll quietly go crazy. He’s unloading the dishwasher as I write this, banging pots around & cursing under his breath, not realizing this is disturbing to me. I guess I should be grateful he’s unloading the dishwasher!
I have another task to take care of before I sequester myself away for a month – Princess Rosebud of http://enchantedseashells.com/2013/10/28/a-sure-fire-cure-for-the-unfreshly-pressed-blues-2/ has kindly bestowed the You Are a Winner badge on me to remind me, even though WordPress doesn’t think I’m Freshly Pressed worthy, there are other bloggers out there who think I’m pretty good. You can see the badge on the right side of my page. Thankfully this is one of those badges where you don’t have to do anything – you can accept it or not, pass it on or not & there are no rules! But I would like to pass it on to a few of my buddies to let them know I am thinking of them:
Beth Ann Chiles at It’s Just Life http://bethannchiles.com/2013/10/31/chrisisms-are-back/
Joe at London Survival http://london-survival.com/
Now, I have tried to pick friends who I know have not been freshly pressed, so if your name isn’t here it’s because I thought you were Freshly Pressed already. Otherwise I would have also mentioned:
Photos from the Loony Bin http://photosfromtheloonybin.wordpress.com/2013/10/29/winning-the-battle/
So now, maybe you can see, why I spend so much time reading blogs instead of writing. Anyway, for November it’s going to change. I hope I can do the whole NaNoWriMo challenge, so if you don’t see me around your blog as much – it’s not because I don’t care about you – it’s because I care about me & my writing a little more (for the time being). I will try to get caught up as soon as I can. In the meantime I hope you will wish me luck!
October 31, 2013
Since it’s Hallowe’en, I will finally divulge my most scary supernatural encounter. Here’s Part I if you didn’t catch it: http://benzeknees.wordpress.com/2013/10/24/ghosts-of-my-past-part-1/
My group of friends would gather at L’s house a lot when I was a tween & teen. One Thanksgiving weekend, my parents decided to visit family out of town, so I stayed at L’s house for the whole long weekend. On Saturday night L’s parents went out for the evening leaving L & I to babysit her younger sister Kim. No sooner had L’s parents left the house than the rest of our friends showed up. Coincidence, right? After about an hour everyone decided they wanted to go out for hot chocolate & I agreed to stay behind to sit with Kim.
As the car was pulling out of the driveway I thought I heard steps on the basement floor. I was in the kitchen reading, so I opened the door to the back landing & called down to see if one of the guys had stayed behind but no one answered. As soon as I closed the door & sat back at the kitchen table the footsteps started again. Again, I opened the door & called down thinking someone was playing a joke on me but no one answered. I was getting worried by this point, so I double checked on Kim. She was sound asleep, so I checked the whole rest of the main floor. I was too scared to go downstairs.
As soon as I sat back down at the kitchen table, the footsteps started again but now they were climbing the stairs up from the basement. Please remember this is long before cell phones, so I had no way to contact my friends to ask for help. I got up, went to the cutlery drawer, got the biggest knife I could find & boosted myself up onto the counter with my back in a corner. When the footsteps reached the back landing they stopped & didn’t come any further.
I sat in the corner of the kitchen counter for over an hour holding a big knife until I saw the headlights from my friend’s car pull into the driveway. Then I heard the footsteps going back down the steps. The lower they got the fainter they got until they faded completely away. When L came in the house she had a good laugh at me. Apparently there is a ghost in her house who protects you by standing by the back door so no one can come in to hurt you when you are alone.
I never volunteered to babysit at L’s house again.
October 29, 2013
I just got off the phone with friend living in northern Maine near the Canadian border. He said that since early this morning the snow has been nearly waist high and is still falling. The temperature is dropping way below zero and the north wind is increasing to near gale force. His wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare.
He says that if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in.
He said . .. I don’t know why you wear a bra; you’ve got nothing to put in it.
She said .. . You wear pants don’t you?
He said .. ……. .Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said . . That’s a good idea – you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa.
He said . . . What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said . Turn sideways and look in the mirror!
On a wall in a ladies room . .. “My husband follows me everywhere”
Written just below it . ” I do not”
Q. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
A. Both of them.
Q. How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
A. He buys two cases of beer .
Q. What is the difference between men and government bonds?
A. The bonds mature.
Q. Why are blonde jokes so short?
A. So men can remember them.
Q . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A. We don’t know; it has never happened.
Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A. A widow.
Q. Why are married women heavier than single women?
A. Single women come home, see what’s in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what’s in bed and go to the fridge.
Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
A. They’re married.
Man says to God: “God, why did you make woman so beautiful?”
God says: “So you would love her.”
But God,” the man says , “why did you make her so dumb?”
God says: “So she would love you.”
October 28, 2013
If you’ve ever read any of my Life with Kelvin posts, you know in our household, food & what’s for dinner is a theme of everyday conversation.
Yesterday was a lazy Sunday in our house & Kelvin had a big sleep in (which is more usual for me). By the time he woke up, I had already had my breakfast by the time he suggested ham & eggs. But his suggestion stuck with me, so when he asked what we should eat for dinner I suggested omelettes. Most of the time we have ham & cheese plus whatever veggies we have in the fridge.
Late in the afternoon, Kelvin got up to start dinner, “Do you want cheese on yours?”
“Yessss,” I was very confused by the question. ”Why do you ask? We usually have the cheese IN the omelette.”
I could see Kelvin had a confused look on his face, then the light bulb went on, “I’m making poached eggs! I heard you say omelette & I fully intended to make an omelette, but when I got here in the kitchen I started poached eggs.”
October 23, 2013
October is Spina Bifida Awareness Month.
What is Spina Bifida?
Spina Bifida happens when the spine of a baby in the womb does not close all of the way. It occurs within the first month of pregnancy — often before most women even know that they are going to have a baby. Every day, about eight babies born in the United States have Spina Bifida or a similar birth defect of the brain and spine.