Tickle Me Tuesday- 072914


Courtesy Microsoft Clip Arts

Courtesy Microsoft Clip Arts

I’m baaaaaaaaaaack! Not sure if I’m back on a regular basis yet, but I’m going to try to do a post from time to time.

Just a side note:  As most of you know I was diagnosed with COPD in Dec./13 & it took me 6 long months to be able to get in to see a pulmonologist (lung doctor).    After the standard breathing function test, my very nice new doctor informed me I was a little worse off than I had originally thought & proceeded to order so many tests & exams he kept me very busy for the next few weeks.  Because of my lung problems, this caused me to be exhausted most of the time & I needed some time off to recuperate & adjust to my new circumstances.  But that’s not why we’re here today – this is supposed to be on the lighter side!


You can tell a lot about a woman’s mood just by her hands. If they are holding a gun, she’s probably angry.
Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.
You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.

I don’t like making plans for the day because then the word “premeditated” get’s thrown around in the courtroom.
I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row,
I decided to change calling the bathroom the John and renamed it the Jim.  I feel so much better saying I went to the jim this morning.
Dear paranoid people who check behind shower curtains for murderers, if you find one, what’s your plan?

Tickle Me Tuesday – 070814



Courtesy Microsoft Clip Arts

Courtesy Microsoft Clip Arts

Sheer Nightgowns Can Be Fatal

A husband walks into Victoria Secret to purchase a sheer negligee for his wife.  He is shown several possibilities, ranging in price from $250 to $500 – the more sheer the higher the price.  He opts for the sheerest items, pays for it and takes it home.  He presents the gift to his wife & asks her to put it on & model it for him.

Upstairs the wife, who is no dummy, decides to pretend she is wearing the gift, then return the negligee the next day & pocket the $500.  She appears naked on the balcony & strikes a pose.

The husband says, Good grief, you would think for $500 they would at least iron it!

He never heard the shot.

Funeral is on Thursday at Noon.  The coffin will be closed.

You Are a Widow Are You NotAny Insanity in Your Family


Tickle Me Tuesday – 062414



Courtesy Microsoft Clip Arts

Courtesy Microsoft Clip ArtsWhat religion is your bra?

A man walks into the ladies department of Macy’s & shyly walks up to the woman behind the counter & says, “I’d like to buy a bra for my wife.”

“What type of bra?” asks the clerk.

“Type?  There’s more than one type?”

“Look around,” says the saleslady, as she motions towards the selection of colors, shapes, materials & sizes.  “Actually with all this selection, there are really only 4 types of bras.”

“Really?” the man sighs with relief.  “What are they?”

“There are the Catholic, the Salvation Army, the Presbyterian and the Baptist.  Which one would you prefer?”

Now totally befuddled, the man asks about the differences between them.

The saleslady replies with, “It’s all really quite simple . . . The Catholic type supports the masses; the Salvation Army type lifts the fallen; the Presbyterian type keeps them staunch & upright; the Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills.”


Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes?

If you have wondered why, but couldn’t figure out what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed!

(A} Almost Boobs…

{B} Barely there…

{C} Can’t Complain!…

{D} Dang!…

{DD} Double dang!…

{E} Enormous!…

{F} Fake…

{G} Get a Reduction…

{H} Help me, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!…

And then don’t forget the German type – Holtzemfromfloppen

Stephen King: Why The US Must Introduce Gun Control On Assault Weapons



While I might not understand the politics of the blue/red states of which he speaks, I am certainly all for some type of gun control before we lose a whole generation to mass shootings!

Originally posted on Gun Control Now USA:

The bestselling author, owner of three handguns, explains why Americans should accept controls on assault weapons

High school students mourn dead after shooting

Kentucky high school students mourn classmates shot dead by Michael Carneal in 1997. He quoted the killer in Stephen King’s book Rage. Photograph: Getty Images

During my junior and senior years in high school, I wrote my first novel, then titled Getting It On. The story was about a troubled boy named Charlie Decker with a domineering father, a load of adolescent angst and a fixation on Ted Jones, the school’s most popular boy. Charlie takes a gun to school, kills his algebra teacher and holds his class hostage.

Ten years later, after the first half-dozen of my books had become bestsellers, I revisited Getting It On, rewrote it, and submitted it to my paperback publisher under the pseudonym of Richard Bachman. It was published as Rage, sold a few thousand copies and disappeared…

View original 1,392 more words

Benzeknees – Professional Patient! Part 2



credit:  Online Stock Photos

credit: Online Stock Photos

This is a continuation from yesterday’s blog post.

After finishing our lunch, we headed to the Royal Alex Hospital (a very big hospital taking up a number of city blocks).  Luckily for me I have a Disabled Parking Pass, due to my difficulty with walking & we were able to park on a level which led right into the floor where the Respiratory Clinic is situated.  Unfortunately, this particular clinic is down a long hallway, turn left down a short hallway, turn right & walk down another very long hallway.  By the time we reached the clinic I was huffing & puffing so bad I didn’t need to ring the bell for service they could hear me trying to catch my breath.

Hubby was quite perturbed about the location & went in search of a wheelchair to help me get back to the vehicle when my test was done.  He was gone for a very long time!  I was taken into a small room with a row of chairs set up for blood draws.  A very nice lady then inserted a needle right into the pulse point of my right wrist.  I will not tell a lie – this hurts!!!  Even though the lady was very good at her job (I have had this test done before where the person missed the pulse & had to dig around in my wrist with the needle to find it).  Thankfully, it only takes a minute once the needle is in & you’re done!

I went out to the waiting room to wait for hubby to return.  He finally showed up with a wheelchair & lots of complaints about everywhere he had to go to try to find the chair.  He wheeled me back to the parking lot entrance & then had to return the chair right away to the place he found it or they would have come searching for him!

By the time I got home Tuesday night, I was absolutely exhausted!

Wednesday morning I began to fast for the second half of the MIBI test.  Hubby once again drove me after he saw how exhausted I was from the first go round.  I was told I would need to eat right after the test, so while I went in to the clinic, hubby went in search of a Subway restaurant (which is surprisingly difficult to find in downtown Edmonton).  Hubby had a staff meeting that evening over dinner time, so I wanted half the sub for lunch & the other half for my dinner.

  • When I arrived I was told to wait in a waiting room which was full of people, all of them there for the second half of the MIBI test.  
  • People were called in one by one to have an injection of radioactive material & then sent back to the same waiting room to wait for 45 mins.  
  • Once you have your injection (just straight in your arm this time – no IV), they want you to eat right away!  But they didn’t explain this properly when they gave instructions, so hubby was still out searching for my lunch.  
  • I was given another cup of Ensure (yuck) to drink.
  • Because I had been shuffled around a lot the day before I didn’t bring a book to read, so completely out of character for me, I joined in the group discussion going on in the waiting room about news events, health issues, etc.
  • One by one we were all called to move into a different waiting room closer to the scanning room where we all met up again.  The second waiting room was much more sedate because there were other people there who looked worried about their upcoming tests(?)
  • I was the last of our group to be called in because I needed to use the chair & the others could use the regular tubular machine.
  • It took even longer the second day to get me positioned the same way as the day before & more pillows were used to jam me into place
  • This time I only needed to have the sitting up scan done for about 7 mins. & I was done for the day.  I met hubby in the waiting room where he had my Subway lunch.  We took it home & I ate it for dinner while he went back to work for his staff meeting.

On Thursday I felt like I had been hit by a truck.  I was aching in places I had never ached before.  I was tired & listless.  

June has been a very tough month for me.  I have had doctor’s appts. at least once a week & sometimes multiple doctor’s appts. every week.  My Outlook calendar is full of appointments!   And July looks to be shaping up the same way.

I have a number of other assessment to complete yet.  I have to be assessed for in-home oxygen, for changes to my anxiety & depression meds, for pulmonary rehab, in addition to regular check ups.  I have to continue to work on my disability claims with both the provincial & federal governments.

Maybe now you can understand why I call myself a professional patient? :)


Benzeknees – Professional Patient!



credit:  Online Stock Photos

credit: Online Stock Photos

Hi! Long time no hear from right? It’s been one of those weeks!  So few doctors or other health care professionals can honestly explain some of their tests to you, so I thought I would share my experiences with 2 tests I had to have this week.  I had a MIBI test for my heart this week as well as a blood gas test.   Part One (here) explains my experience of a MIBI test:

  • My test was scheduled for Tuesday a.m, so Sunday at midnight all uses of caffeine were prohibited including de-caff coffee, chocolate, soft drinks or ANYTHING ELSE which contains caffeine.
  • Since I am extremely claustrophobic I had been assured I could have the test done in a chair, like a dentist’s chair with a camera & wires hooked up to my chest instead of in a tubular machine like an MRI.  Since I suffer from Panic & Anxiety Disorder, I spent the whole day on Monday worrying about the test for the next day.
  • Monday at midnight, fasting begins.  You are allowed to have water only, but since I have problems with incontinence since my hysterectomy, water was completely out of the picture for me.
  • Clothing required for the test – women must wear a bra (I never wear one anymore so I had to go searching for one) & a blouse that buttons down the front.  I don’t own any blouses that button down the front!  I found one in the back of my closet with snaps down the front, it was bit too tight, but I wore it anyway
  • My test was scheduled for 9:30 a.m. Tuesday & I presented myself at the reception desk with all necessary paperwork, photo ID, etc. at 9:15.  The waiting room was almost full.  A few minutes later my name was called & I was ushered into a small cubicle with a curtain.
  • A lady showed up a few minutes later & starting sticking leads all over my chest & under my breasts.  She explained the test to me a bit better (would have been too late to back out at that point anyway) & assured me a doctor would be in the room with me the entire time I had one of the chemicals injected into my system.  She gave me a document to sign saying I understood all the consequences of the test which may include death!  When she saw me blanch at this phrase, she reminded me people have heart attacks all the time, you never know when & since I would be monitored by a doctor the whole time, I would be in good hands if something were to happen.
  • A few minutes later another young lady with hair the prettiest shade of mauve I have ever seen came to the cubicle & inserted an IV into my left arm.  She was very good with the needle & it didn’t hurt.  I was left sitting in the cubicle for approx. 10 mins. until the room for the test was available.
  • I was called into the room where I was given the option of sitting in a straight back chair or reclining on a stretcher with the head raised.  I opted for the chair.  A very nice lady introduced herself to me as the doctor who would be monitoring my vitals all through the test.  She explained what the chemicals would do to me, the possible side effects (headache, light-headedness, dizziness, clammy feeling, feeling flushed).  She explained the chemicals would only need to be in my system for about 10 mins. & if I was experiencing bad side effects she could inject me with another chemical through my IV & it would reverse the effects of the first chemical in about 2 – 3 mins.
  • They started the infusion through my IV & I was asked to tap my toes to help circulate the drugs through my system.  I started to feel flushed almost right away but it was not too bad so I stuck it out.   After about 7 mins. I started to feel very woozy & light-headed as well as clammy.  I asked if I could rest my arm on the tray table next to me for support & that is how I finished the test.  When it was over they flushed my system with the antidote, gave me a styrofoam cup of Ensure (yuck) & a cup of coffee (caffeine helps to flush this drug out of your system).
  • I was sent to another waiting room for about 20 mins. where I finished my Ensure & coffee
  • I was then called into another screening room where I saw the “chair” for the first time.  It did sort of look like a dentist’s chair except it was very narrow.  I had to maneuver myself into this chair so my back was fully against the back of the chair between a large grey plastic boxy looking thing (the camera) & the chair.
  • Once I finally was settled into the chair, pillows were brought in to make sure I was pushed as close to the camera as possible all along my left side.  The camera was then positioned very close to my chest & resting on my stomach.  I could not have taken a deep breath (which from their point of view was a good thing because they wanted me to breathe shallowly for the entire test).
  • It seemed to take forever for them to get the camera positioned right.  Meanwhile my left arm is resting on the top of the camera (so I can get closer to the left side of the machine) & it is getting numb.
  • When they finally found a position they liked I was asked to stay absolutely still for 5 mins. & breathe shallowly.  If I took a deep breath or coughed they would have to start the test over.
  • When this part of the test was finished they lowered the back of the chair so I was laying down & re-positioned the camera again.  Again the camera was very close to my chin & resting on my diaphragm.  I had to breathe shallowly for another 5 mins. while they took the second set of pictures.  They did not dim the lights which was a shame because a row of pot lights was shining right in my eyes & making it hard to concentrate on my breathing.
  • I was led to another waiting room to wait while they checked the pictures & my IV was removed.
  • Finally I was released for the day with instructions to present myself again the next day (Wed) at 1:30 p.m. for the second part of the test.
  • I was encouraged to drink lots of coffee to flush the chemicals out of my system.  I could eat & drink normally until 9:30 a.m. Wednesday when I was asked to fast again for the 4 hours prior to my test.

Because I was worried I might have to take extra anti-anxiety meds to stave off a panic attack, my hubby drove me to the test.  When I was released, we went & had some lunch at a nearby restaurant because I had an hour to kill before I had to appear at the Royal Alec Hospital one block away for a blood gas test.

Since this is turning into a novel, I’ll continue this tomorrow.  Stay tuned for the next installment of Benzeknees – Professional Patient!

COPD Update



credit:  Online Stock Photos

credit: Online Stock Photos

Good morning everyone! This is not an easy post to write today. After a 6 month wait, I finally got in to see the pulmonary specialist & the news was not the best. Where I was under the impression I had mild to moderate COPD, he informed me this morning I have moderately severe COPD which means I skipped the whole moderate section while I wasn’t looking! LOL! 

I have to have a lot more tests done now – a lot of them dealing with my heart because I am experiencing chest pains & numbness in my left arm & then even more tests for the COPD because something has shown up on the x-ray which was never mentioned to me before.  I have to be assessed for at home oxygen.  The specialist added yet another puffer to my regime which costs a fortune, but because hubby just started work & we don’t have prescription coverage yet, the doctor was nice enough to prescribe a new drug with a drug company free trial for a while.

With the news this morning & his recommendations, I am hoping to finally get some provincial & federal disability coverage so at least my meds will be paid for.  Quite frankly, the hoops they make you jump through are very tiring – & all of this when you are already sick.

Next week (Thursday & Friday) I have to go for a MIBI test (a chemical stress test of my heart) since I am not able to do a physical stress test.  It involves a machine like an MRI & is done over a 2 day period.  I am terrified!  I am extremely claustrophobic & have had difficulties with these machines in the past – panic attacks in the machine causing them to have to stop the test & then I have to start all over again.  I have gotten permission from my psychiatrist to up my meds on that day so I will be partially sedated.

The only good news this week – I lost 11 pounds!  I have been struggling to lose some weight because it would be easier on my knee & back & would definitely help with my breathing.  I had been sitting at a plateau for the last 6 months due to thyroid problems even though I was taking medication.  But it seems I have finally broken through the plateau.  This makes about 30 pounds lost for me since June of last year.

Please understand, I don’t tell you this because I am looking for sympathy.  My posting schedule has been pretty erratic lately & with all the tests, etc. I have to go through now, it may get even more erratic.  A lot of these tests wear me out so much I end up coming home & napping for days to get caught up.  I have not forgotten any of you & I try to catch up with reading your posts when I can.

Any good thoughts or prayers would be greatly appreciated.  Love to you all!

~ Benze

Tickle Me Tuesday – 061014


Courtesy Microsoft Clip Arts

Courtesy Microsoft Clip Arts

Just something to lighten the mood today:Your Call is Very Important to UsYou Suck at ParkingWhen Seconds CountWe're Gonna Be Cops Bad BoysMcDonalds

Share Your World – Week 22


Credit:  Cee's Photography

Credit: Cee’s Photography

It’s that time again.  I am really enjoying the Share Your World prompts, if you like what you see here, why not hop  over to Cee’s Photography to see how to participate yourself?  Here are this week’s questions:

Regarding animals would you prefer not having them around or having domestics pets, farm animals, or seeing them in nature or the zoo?

I have always loved having a dog around the house & I think some people really like having cats although I’m allergic.  I am absolutely against people keeping animals like monkeys or large cat (lion/tiger/bobcat) babies.

I’m not crazy about zoos because I don’t think they look after the animals well enough.  The zoo experience seems to be designed as much for the convenience of the keepers as it is for the welfare of the animals.  If zoos were more like safari parks where the animals had lots of room to roam & be themselves I could live with it because often zoos are the only ways of bringing back some of the most endangered species.  This is also the only way some people would ever get to see live animals of different species.

Absolutely against circuses – do not care for how they treat their animals.  Animals were never meant to be a source of entertainment for humans.
Are you a collector of anything?

I have collected decorative elephants or unicorns as well as bells.  I have wooden elephants, glass elephants, marble elephants, crystal unicorns & glass unicorns.  I have glass bells, china bells, brass bells & silver bells.  I don’t have large numbers of any of these items, but I enjoy having them around me.
If you could know the answer to any question, besides “What is the meaning of life?”, what would it be?

Will The Doctor ever stop travelling?

If you were to treat yourself to the “finer things” what would you treat yourself to?

English Cadbury chocolate – it is so much richer than Canadian or American chocolate.

That’s it for this week.  Did any of my answers surprise you?  Or did you guess what I was going to say?

Help Wanted



Another step in the effort to help Rara! If you can help, please do!

Originally posted on RawrLove:

Love Rara?  Want to help her cause?  Got time to help out?

Then, we need you!  We are looking for an eBay Auction Manager

Duties include:

  • Posting new auction items to eBay
  • Monitoring open auctions, contacting winners with shipping/payment instructions
  • Coordinating with donors to ensure the winning items are shipped in a timely manner
  • Keeping the rest of the QueenRawr team apprised of updates, news, issues, etc..  
  • Plus, other duties as assigned because that goes into every job advertisement.

Required qualifications include but may not be limited to:

  • A commitment to the time and energy to help develop and carry this project forward.   
  • Detail oriented,  with the ability to exhibit patience and appropriate humor in answering questions.  
  • Must be able to independently and accurately  update site information
  • Maintain confidentiality of data
  • And most importantly, love Rara and Grayson.
  • Must also be willing to commit to an informal interview. We do…

View original 119 more words

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