A man in a Florida supermarket tries to buy half a head of lettuce. The very young produce assistant tells him they sell only whole heads of lettuce. The man persists and asks to see the manager. The boy says he’ll ask his manager about it. Walking into the back room, the boy says to his manager,
‘Some asshole wants to buy half a head of lettuce.’
As he finishes his sentence, he turns to find the man standing right behind him, so he adds,
‘And this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the other half.’
The manager approved the deal and the man went on his way. Later the manager said to the boy,
‘I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?’
‘Canada , sir,’ the boy replied.
‘Well, why did you leave Canada?’ the manager asked.
The boy said,
‘Sir, there’s nothing but whores and hockey players up there.’
‘Really?’ said the manager. ‘My wife is from Canada .’
‘No shit?’ replied the boy. ‘Who’d she play for?’
J.D. Gallagher
Nov 27, 2012 @ 04:14:16
Brilliant. That is the kind of guy you want around in an awkward situation!
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benzeknees
Nov 27, 2012 @ 13:38:02
I agree – but then he might be mistaken for a politician?
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J.D. Gallagher
Nov 27, 2012 @ 13:55:05
Yeah, wouldn’t want to be associated with that lot.
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benzeknees
Nov 27, 2012 @ 15:42:05
I think they should start a special group just for them – politicians that is!
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buckwheatsrisk
Nov 27, 2012 @ 11:49:50
ahaha! (I’m Canadian 😉 )
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benzeknees
Nov 27, 2012 @ 12:53:27
I knew that Buckwheat! Me too! It’s funny what some people think of us, isn’t it?
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buckwheatsrisk
Nov 27, 2012 @ 13:03:32
Oh yeah sorry about that! Yes it is…I must be a hockey player then! 😉
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Madame Weebles
Nov 27, 2012 @ 11:56:01
THAT’s a good one. I’ll have to remember that.
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benzeknees
Nov 27, 2012 @ 13:38:45
Is this a case of lemonades out of lemons?
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Madame Weebles
Nov 27, 2012 @ 13:41:46
Well, the joke starts out that way, but then it’s just funny at the end! But then, I’m not Canadian. 🙂
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benzeknees
Nov 27, 2012 @ 15:40:17
You do know we like to share don’t you? You could become an honorary Canadian.
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John Erickson
Nov 27, 2012 @ 14:12:16
(Rimshot.) Yeah, I’ve heard MANY variations of that joke, especially the last bit. Just don’t forget about the other great export from Canada (besides hockey players)……MOOSE! 😀
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benzeknees
Nov 27, 2012 @ 15:38:29
I would have thought maple syrup would have been higher on the list!
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John Erickson
Nov 27, 2012 @ 16:06:05
Hey, I try to buy domestic whenever I can. You just can’t get a better hockey player or moose pipeline than from Canada. 😉
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benzeknees
Nov 27, 2012 @ 16:11:43
Then you should add poutine to your list – can’t get it anywhere else!
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John Erickson
Nov 27, 2012 @ 17:11:51
Yeah – ’cause nobody outside Canada (and a lot of folks on the inside) don’t want the stuff! 😉 (Though you should see a Canuck’s face light up when a lady in a smalltown Ohio restaurant correctly explains what the customer wants to the waitress. My wife’s restaurant had a Quebec-based tour come in, and the waitresses couldn’t figure out what the heck the tour group wanted with this “pooh-teen”. When my wife stepped in and explained, she had no less then THREE of the folk ask her what part of Quebec she was from! Hey – we may be Americans, but the wife and I aren’t the USUAL American ignorant savage! 😀 )
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benzeknees
Nov 27, 2012 @ 17:25:24
Are you saying you don’t like poutine? Manna from the gods? Don’t tell me you are advanced enough to actually have gravy or vinegar on your fries.
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John Erickson
Nov 27, 2012 @ 17:59:07
Nope. I’s an a-MUR-ican. Ketchup all ’round. Gotta drown them buggers in spiced tomato paste, so it looks like ya butchered a blue whale! Red everywhere! Blood! BLOOD! (Maniacal laughter.) 😯 😀
Ahem. Yes, ketchup, ma’am, no vinegar or gravy.
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Adam S
Nov 27, 2012 @ 20:56:24
I’m so bad at remembering jokes, but I’m gonna try really hard to not forget this one. What a trip! Hilarious!!!
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benzeknees
Nov 27, 2012 @ 22:38:32
Thanks, go ahead & copy & paste if you wish.
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Adam S
Nov 27, 2012 @ 22:39:09
I’m one step ahead of you…
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Adam S
Nov 27, 2012 @ 22:39:26
Wait a minute, did you actually write this?
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benzeknees
Nov 27, 2012 @ 22:51:09
No, I didn’t – it was sent to me by a friend. But I have a bad memory & so I often have to copy & paste something I want to remember – that’s the only reason I made the suggestion.
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Chris Sheridan
Nov 27, 2012 @ 23:31:10
All right Lynda! LOL! 😀 You got an honest to goodness able to be heard in the real world laugh out loud from me! I think I may have heard this one before, but since I also have a bad memory, with more holes in it than a Swiss cheese, I completely forgot the punch line, so I was able to enjoy it all over again! So thanks! 🙂
Hey, speaking of hockey players, do you know who Craig MacTavish is? He was my best friend during my junior and senior years in college at the University of Lowell in Massachusetts. He was also the last player in NHL history to NOT wear a helmet… No wonder he and I got along so well! Lol
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benzeknees
Nov 28, 2012 @ 00:35:20
Sorry Chris, I don’t follow hockey. I am a huge football fan! I’m glad you got a laugh out of this!
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Tilly Bud - The Laughing Housewife
Nov 27, 2012 @ 23:55:34
lol! He should go into politics 🙂
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benzeknees
Nov 28, 2012 @ 00:36:07
Definitely! He already sounds like most politicians I know!
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El Guapo
Nov 28, 2012 @ 19:08:52
Now I’m going to be up all night trying to figure out how to adapt this joke for the Amish…
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benzeknees
Nov 28, 2012 @ 21:56:52
You have a large Amish audience I don’t know about?
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Happy Birthday, Benzeknees! | Edward Hotspur
Dec 04, 2012 @ 04:02:23
benzeknees
Dec 04, 2012 @ 12:37:28
No apology necessary Hotspur, it was no big deal for me to move my Monday post to Tuesday & I’m really enjoying Romantic Mondays!
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