There are those of us who suffer in silence, never talking to anyone about the loneliness & lack of self-esteem caused by our childhoods. I only wish I could have put this into words this brilliantly.
There is a very dark place inside some of us. I think of it as the “not enough” place. It is a space in our psyche in which we are consistently less than adequate, always falling short of expectations, never quite good enough for the task or person we are striving toward. This place has no light. It is heavy, pregnant with expectations never met, people never pleased and ideals fallen away.
For some people, this place was constructed early, as part of some childhood experience — an emotionally distant or highly-critical parent, physical abandonment, or unstable family dynamics. For others, it appeared suddenly, maybe even overnight, the result of an intensely traumatic experience that shattered their sense of personal safety and value. Whatever the cause of its appearance, once present it is a difficult place to dismantle.
The not enough place is where all our worst personal demons are…
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Elyse
Dec 30, 2012 @ 18:31:06
I was really touched by that post, Benze. Thanks for reblogging it.
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benzeknees
Dec 30, 2012 @ 20:19:28
Wasn’t it amazing? I felt like she was writing my life due to a hugely dysfunctional childhood.
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El Guapo
Dec 30, 2012 @ 21:22:21
The effect of the wp snow through the picture is great!
Ok, off to read the post…
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benzeknees
Dec 30, 2012 @ 21:43:40
You’re right Guaps – it is beautiful with the snow falling through the pic!
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Enchanted Seashells
Jan 01, 2013 @ 15:03:02
I hadn’t read this before, it’s totally beautiful and poignant.
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benzeknees
Jan 02, 2013 @ 01:48:49
I thought so too!
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John Erickson
Jan 02, 2013 @ 18:51:28
I do like the prose she quotes. I think we all have that spot, our own little chunk of Kryptonite. And just like Kryptonite, it’s a little piece of what should be home that does us in.
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benzeknees
Jan 02, 2013 @ 20:39:33
It’s unfortunate the place that should be the safest is sometimes the place causing us the most harm in the long run.
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