Letter LSince the letters aren’t always working for me to post funnies on Tuesdays, I’m going to take advantage when I can to post a laugh or 2.

Hope you enjoy!

A woman from Newfoundland, “of a certain age”, visited her physician to ask his help in reviving her husband’s sex drive. “What about trying Viagra?”, asks the doctor.”Not a chance,” she said.”He won’t even take an aspirin.”
“Not a problem,” replied the doctor. “Drop it into his coffee. He won’t even taste it. Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went.”
It wasn’t a week later, that she rang up the doctor, who directly inquired as to progress. The poor dear exclaimed, “Oh faith, bejaysus and begorrah!’Twas horrid. Just terrible, Doctor.” “Really? What happened?” asked the doctor.
“Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee, didn’t I? The effect was almost immediate. He jumped hisself straight up, with a twinkle in his eye, and with his pants a-bulging fiercely! With one swoop of his arm, he sent the cups and dishes flying, ripped me clothes to total tatters and took me then and there, making wild, mad, passionate love to me on the tabletop! It was a nightmare, I tell you!”
“Why so terrible?”, asked the doctor. “Do you mean the sex was not good?”
“No, no, no, Doctor. The sex was fine. Indeed, ‘t was the best sex I’ve had in 25 years………but I’ll never be able to show me face in Tim Horton’s again!”

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AMAZING, SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:

1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU’LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

6. YOU NEED ONLY TWO TOOLS IN LIFE – WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN’T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN’T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

7. IF YOU CAN’T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU’VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.THOUGHT for the day:

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES – NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN THEY’RE PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.


SOME ADDITIONAL ADVICE:

NEVER, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, TAKE A LAXATIVE AND SLEEPING PILLS ON THE SAME NIGHT!

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