Seniors:
Hints on how to liven up your idle hours …
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. On all your cheque stubs, write ‘ For Marijuana’
3. Skip down the street rather than walk and see how many looks you get.
4. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
5. Sing along at the opera.
6. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream ‘I Won! I Won!’
7. When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the car park, yelling ‘Run For Your Lives! They’re Loose!’
8. Tell your children over dinner, ‘Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.’
And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity:
9. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.
2. On all your cheque stubs, write ‘ For Marijuana’
3. Skip down the street rather than walk and see how many looks you get.
4. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
5. Sing along at the opera.
6. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream ‘I Won! I Won!’
7. When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the car park, yelling ‘Run For Your Lives! They’re Loose!’
8. Tell your children over dinner, ‘Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.’
And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity:
9. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.
photosfromtheloonybin
Nov 26, 2013 @ 05:28:03
Love all of them!! My mom and I actually skipped through a mall a couple of years ago, and I think people were on their cell phones calling to have us taken away to the funny farm. We had a riot!!
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benzeknees
Nov 26, 2013 @ 07:44:20
It sure would have everyone thinking – where do I get what they’ve been drinking?
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photosfromtheloonybin
Nov 26, 2013 @ 09:47:29
LOL :). Totally sober – just having goofy fun. We also like driving through towns and waving frantically at people to see what they do. Some people just look confused while others will wave back just because they are embarrassed that they don’t know who it is LOL!
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El Guapo
Nov 26, 2013 @ 06:54:57
When I need to sign a form, I often write “we’ll always have Paris. Love,” above my signature.
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benzeknees
Nov 26, 2013 @ 07:51:34
You’re such a romantic Guaps! How are you? Been missing friends while over my head in NaNoWriMo!
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El Guapo
Nov 26, 2013 @ 08:11:23
I’m alright. Nothing to miss from me – haven’t been online much.
How’s the writing going? Only a few days to finish…
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benzeknees
Nov 26, 2013 @ 08:26:51
As you can see from the widget on the right hand side, I crossed over 28,000 words yesterday – don’t think I’ll hit 50,000 but would certainly be happy with 40,000. I am amazed by how much I’ve already written and how the story has taken on a life of its own.
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behindthemaskofabuse
Nov 26, 2013 @ 16:23:30
That’s funny!
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Twindaddy
Nov 26, 2013 @ 08:12:41
These sound great, but who goes to the opera?
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benzeknees
Nov 26, 2013 @ 08:29:50
I thought you did Twindaddy!
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Twindaddy
Nov 26, 2013 @ 08:42:54
Pfft. I have more class than that.
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Ron
Nov 26, 2013 @ 09:35:47
OMG Benze….these are HILARIOUS!!!!!!!
Where do you FIND them???
LOVED them all, but especially #’s 1, 2, and 9.
Bwhahahahhahahahahaha!
Thanks so much for the Tuesday morning tickles, my friend! Enjoyed!
Wishing you and Kelvin a Happy Thanksgiving!
X
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benzeknees
Nov 27, 2013 @ 11:08:37
Thanks Ron, but we’re Canadian so our Thanksgiving was in October. Hope you have a great Thanksgiving!
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Mark Petruska
Nov 26, 2013 @ 09:40:13
I love the zoo idea. It’s something I’d do just for fun!
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benzeknees
Nov 27, 2013 @ 11:09:13
The zoo one is so you Mark!
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behindthemaskofabuse
Nov 26, 2013 @ 16:22:25
The condom thing would be especially funny if it were a woman asking! lol
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benzeknees
Nov 27, 2013 @ 11:09:51
How right you are!
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behindthemaskofabuse
Nov 27, 2013 @ 11:32:43
hee hee!
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Elyse
Nov 26, 2013 @ 20:51:38
On all your cheque stubs, write ‘ For Marijuana’ — I liked this one. I usually put “hush money” on it.
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benzeknees
Nov 27, 2013 @ 11:10:20
Good one Elyse!
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TBM
Nov 27, 2013 @ 07:57:55
You know, I wonder if number 9 would shock people in London. Might have to give it a go.
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benzeknees
Nov 27, 2013 @ 11:12:16
Little more progressive over there? Or less? Could you imagine asking this of a little old lady?
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TBM
Nov 27, 2013 @ 11:41:00
More progressive. I was shocked when they showed a penis on the telly. And it wasn’t a premium channel like HBO, just a regular channel at 8 at night. Not sure if you get HBO in Canada. They followed it up by showing a vagina. It was a doctor show about weird ailments and these people had rashes. I won’t say more. It shocked me, though.
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pouringmyartout
Nov 27, 2013 @ 17:04:20
This is the kind of stuff I actually do… all the time…
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benzeknees
Nov 28, 2013 @ 07:39:55
Oh, I knew this would be your response Art!
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pouringmyartout
Nov 28, 2013 @ 08:33:09
Good… because it was…
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Archon's Den
Nov 30, 2013 @ 02:01:56
How did you get the baby picture of me and my brother?? It hasn’t been 70 years yet but I got a birthday card from Depends. 🙂
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benzeknees
Nov 30, 2013 @ 13:24:42
How nice for you! At least Depends acknowledge your business!
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