Courtesy Microsoft Clip Arts

Courtesy Microsoft Clip Arts

I am busy slogging through all the posts I missed during NaNoWriMo – I follow the most prolific bloggers! Yesterday I opened my email to find 455 to read! I will get there eventually, thanks for your patience. And thanks for coming back even though I virtually took a month off.

A Saskatchewan farmer and his wife, on their way back home in January, are at an airport in Arizona awaiting their flight. They were dressed in heavy boots, parka, scarf, mittens all ready to head home to  the Canadian winter.
An older American couple standing nearby is intrigued by their manner of dress. The wife says to her husband, “Look at that couple.  I wonder where they are from?”
He replies, “How would I know?”

 She counters, “You could go and ask them.”
 He says, “I do not really care. You want to know, you go and ask them.”
 She decides to do just that and walks over to the couple and asks,”Excuse me. Looking at the way you are dressed, I wondered where you are from?”
The Canadian farmer replies, “Saskatoon, Saskatchewan”.
The woman returns to her husband, who asks, “So, where are they from?”
She replies, “I don’t know. They don’t speak English! “

Dear Noah,
We could have sworn you said the Ark wasn’t leaving till 5.
Sincerely,
Unicorns

Dear Twilight fans,
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection.  Enjoy fantasizing about that.
Sincerely,
Logic

Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma’s a bitch.
Sincerely,
The Titanic

Dear United States ,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely,
Canada

Dear Yahoo,
I’ve never heard anyone say, “I don’t know, let’s Yahoo! it…”
just saying…
Sincerely,
Google

Dear 2013,
So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?
Sincerely,
1985
 
Dear girls who have been dumped,
There are plenty of fish in the sea… Just kidding! They’re mostly dead.
Sincerely,
BP Oil

Dear Saturn,
I liked it, so I put a ring on it.
Sincerely,
God

Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids,
Please make one for every skin color.
Sincerely,
Black people

Dear Scissors,
I feel your pain… no one wants to run with me, either.
Sincerely,
Sarah Palin
 
Dear World of Warcraft,
Thank you for ensuring my son’s virginity.
Sincerely,
Parents Everywhere

Dear Customers,
Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.
Sincerely,
Nail Salon Ladies

Dear Ugly People,
You’re welcome.
Sincerely,
Alcohol

Dear iPhone,
Please stop spellchecking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of shut.
Sincerely,
Every iPhone User

Dear Man,
It’s cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?
Sincerely,
Elephant

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