Sheer Nightgowns Can Be Fatal
A husband walks into Victoria Secret to purchase a sheer negligee for his wife. He is shown several possibilities, ranging in price from $250 to $500 – the more sheer the higher the price. He opts for the sheerest items, pays for it and takes it home. He presents the gift to his wife & asks her to put it on & model it for him.
Upstairs the wife, who is no dummy, decides to pretend she is wearing the gift, then return the negligee the next day & pocket the $500. She appears naked on the balcony & strikes a pose.
The husband says, Good grief, you would think for $500 they would at least iron it!
He never heard the shot.
Funeral is on Thursday at Noon. The coffin will be closed.
photosfromtheloonybin
Jul 08, 2014 @ 05:06:28
Hahahahaha!!! Good one :).
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benzeknees
Jul 08, 2014 @ 10:16:33
Thanks Cindy! Have you heard of Bookbub?
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photosfromtheloonybin
Jul 08, 2014 @ 18:39:24
No I haven’t but I just looked it up, and it looks very interesting. Have you signed up?
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benzeknees
Jul 08, 2014 @ 22:06:35
Actually I did. I took something like 28 books on my first pass & they downloaded to my e-reader! I tried another one & for free all I could get was PDF to my computer which does nothing for me. I learned about Bookbub from the Laughing Housewife! I haven’t read anything I downloaded yet because I’m reading for NetGalley reviews right now PLUS I managed to buy the complete set of Diana Gabaldon (8 books in total) for only $60, so I’m re-reading the series to get prepared for her new book.
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photosfromtheloonybin
Jul 09, 2014 @ 05:31:12
I am going to put the site in my favourites, but I already have about 800 books on my Nook plus three huge stacks of real books to read, so I don’t think I need to download anything new for now LOL!! I went to see Diana Gabaldon to get her new book signed, but I haven’t read it yet. With our big trip coming up August 1st, I think I’ll wait until I get back so that I can really lose myself in it :).
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April
Jul 08, 2014 @ 05:11:36
Benzee!!! I’ve missed you, how are you feeling? This had me laughing so hard because I’m pretty sure I would do the same thing 😉
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benzeknees
Jul 08, 2014 @ 10:18:41
Why thank you for missing me April! I have been so busy being a Professional Patient I’ve had very little time for reading or writing blogs lately, coupled with some pain which has left me feeling less “funny” than usual. I will try to be more regular in future!
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April
Jul 08, 2014 @ 10:47:29
I completely understand and no worries! Just wanted you to know how much you were loved 🙂
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NotAPunkRocker
Jul 08, 2014 @ 05:26:29
The jury found her not guilty too. 😀
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benzeknees
Jul 08, 2014 @ 10:19:03
Of course they did!
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Beth Ann
Jul 08, 2014 @ 05:43:27
That is hysterical! 🙂 I have been bad at getting around my blogs—I have missed you. How are you doing? Feeling any better??? Getting some answers? Take care of yourself!
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benzeknees
Jul 08, 2014 @ 10:22:05
Ah Beth Ann, you & I are in the same boat! I have been so busy being a Professional Patient I’ve had very little time for reading or writing blogs lately. Still no answers, but see the pain management specialist this week so hopefully he’ll have some answers. I hope to be more regular again in the future! How is Chris doing? Any job prospects?
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Beth Ann
Jul 08, 2014 @ 19:51:43
Hey—I need to bring you up to date! Chris started a job yesterday in Arlington, TX!!!! Took about 5 months and it all worked out so well. He is already in an apt so that makes it much better. I am hustling to get the house ready to get on the market which will hopefully happen in 2 weeks or so. Lots of stuff to do but I am plugging away at it. So our lives are changing again but for the good. We will alternate taking trips to see each other–we will probably see each other every two weeks or so. Life is good. Hope the pain management specialist helps you out!!!
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benzeknees
Jul 08, 2014 @ 22:00:07
How wonderful Beth Ann! I’m glad Chris didn’t have to be unemployed for a long time! So by packing up the house, does this mean you will be moving to Texas? That would be quite the change for you! I’ll have to look up Arlington to see where that is!
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FlaHam
Jul 08, 2014 @ 08:10:31
Benze,, LMAO that is not fair or funny LOL LOL. Here the guy put his best effort into the present, and gets shot. Shaking head, for 500 it should have come out of the box ironed, and the wife should have known. Hell I might know that lady, I best shutup Take care, Bill
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benzeknees
Jul 08, 2014 @ 10:24:09
Just trying to get my “funny” back Bill!
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Twindaddy
Jul 08, 2014 @ 08:17:30
Bahahahaha!
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benzeknees
Jul 08, 2014 @ 10:24:32
Thanks TD! I thought it was good for my comeback!
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Twindaddy
Jul 08, 2014 @ 10:24:54
It was indeed.
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Ron
Jul 08, 2014 @ 08:47:54
Bwhahahahahhahahaha!
Benze, that was BEYOND hilarious! Brilliant one, my friend!
Thanks so much for the HUGE morning laugh!
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benzeknees
Jul 08, 2014 @ 10:25:18
Thanks Ron, working on working my “funny bone” again!
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Tena Carr
Jul 08, 2014 @ 08:53:58
ROFL… Love it. How you been doing/feeling btw??
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benzeknees
Jul 08, 2014 @ 10:26:32
About the same Tena, thanks for asking. I see pain management specialist later this week, so hopefully he has some answers to help me with the pain. Hard to feel funny when you hurt.
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behindthemask
Jul 08, 2014 @ 09:33:54
bawhahaha! That was hilarious and you know I needed a laugh!
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benzeknees
Jul 08, 2014 @ 10:15:59
I do know!
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behindthemask
Jul 08, 2014 @ 10:40:10
xo
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pouringmyartout
Jul 08, 2014 @ 11:02:00
that was a good one…
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benzeknees
Jul 08, 2014 @ 22:01:25
Thanks Art! I am so far behind in reading blogs because of all the time I spend running to docs & then trying to recover from tests. I haven’t deleted any yet because I do plan on catching up eventually!
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pouringmyartout
Jul 08, 2014 @ 22:02:08
no pressure, buddy
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thehobbler
Jul 08, 2014 @ 18:55:18
Those are great!
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benzeknees
Jul 08, 2014 @ 22:02:40
Thanks Hobbles! I still have everything you’ve posted saved because I plan on catching up on my reading when some of the testing & doc appts. slow down.
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Elyse
Jul 12, 2014 @ 20:11:41
It is just as good on Saturday!
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benzeknees
Jul 12, 2014 @ 22:03:43
Please don’t tell me you’re catching my inactivity habit from me Elyse! You’ve probably just been playing with your new puppy too much, right? Any pics yet?
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Ron
Jul 21, 2014 @ 16:39:36
Hey Benze! Just stopped by to say Hi and see how you were doing. Hope is well, my friend. You take care. X
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benzeknees
Jul 21, 2014 @ 21:40:53
Sorry Ron! I have all your posts saved to read, just a little complicated at the moment. Hope you are well!
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