Courtesy Microsoft Clip Arts

Courtesy Microsoft Clip Arts

This is starting to become a habit, showing up on Tuesday, I’ll have to watch myself . . . This week was even more difficult because Monday (yesterday) was a civic holiday so we had an extra day off which totally messes with my brain as far as what day it is.

Someone has finally explained the reason baby diapers have brand names such as “Luvs” & “Huggies”, while undergarments for old people are called “Depends.”

You see, when babies mess their pants, people are still gonna Luv’em & Hug’em.   However, when old people mess their pants, it “Depends” on who’s in the will.



Pamela Wallin  called Mike Duffy into her office one day and said, “Mike, I have a plan to win back Canadian support for you, Patrick Brazeau & me”

“Great Pamela, but how?” asked Mike.

“We’ll get some cheesy clothes & shoes, like those Middle Class Canadians wear, then stop at the pound & pick up a Labrador retriever. Then, we’ll go to a nice old country bar in Alberta & show them how much admiration & respect we have for the hard working people living there.”

So they did & found just the place they were looking for in Coronation, Alberta. With the dog in tow, they walked inside & stepped up to the bar.

The Bartender took a step back & said, “Hey! Aren’t you Mike Duffy & Pamela Wallin?”

“Yes we are!” said Pamela, “And what a lovely town you have here. We were passing through & Mike suggested we stop & take in some local color.”

They ordered a round of bourbon for the whole bar & started chatting up a storm with anyone who would listen.

A few minutes later, a grizzled old rancher came in, walked up to the Labrador, lifted up its tail, looked underneath, shrugged his shoulders & walked out. A few moments later, in came another old rancher. He walked up to the dog, lifted up its tail, looked underneath, scratched his head & left the bar.

For the next hour, another dozen ranchers came in, lifted the dog’s tail & left shaking their heads.

Finally, Pamela asked, “Why did all those old ranchers come in & look under the dog’s tail? Is it some sort of custom?”

“Lord no,” said the bartender. “Someone’s out there running around town, claiming there’s a Labrador Retriever in here with two assholes!”