One day a man decided to retire…
He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise & proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank.
He soon found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing, only bananas & coconuts.
After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore.
In disbelief, he asks, “Where did you come from? How did you get here?”
She replies, “I rowed over from the other side of the island where I landed when my cruise ship sank.”
“Amazing,” he notes. “You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with you.”
“Oh, this thing?” explains the woman. “I made the boat out of some raw material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm tree branches & the sides & stern came from a Eucalyptus tree.”
“But, where did you get the tools?”
“Oh, that was no problem,” replied the woman. “On the south side of the island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into ductile iron & I used that to make tools & used the tools to make the hardware.”
The guy is stunned.
“Let’s row over to my place,” she says “and I’ll give you a tour.” So, after a short time of rowing, she soon docks the boat at a small wharf. As the man looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat. Before him is a long stone walk leading to a cabin & tree house.
While the woman ties up the row boat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walk into the house, she says casually, “It’s not much, but I call it home. Please sit down.”
“Would you like a drink?”
“No! No thank you,” the man blurts out, still dazed. “I can’t take another drop of coconut juice.”
“Oh it’s not coconut juice,” winks the woman. “I have a still. How would you like a Tropical Spritz?”
Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts & they sit down on her couch to talk. After they exchange their individual survival stories, the woman announces, “I’m going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower & shave? There’s a razor in the bathroom cabinet upstairs.”
No longer questioning anything, the man goes upstairs into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet, is a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel mechanism.
“This woman is amazing,” he muses. “What’s next?”
When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but some small flowers on tiny vines, each strategically positioned, she smelled faintly of gardenias. She then beckons for him to sit down next to her.
“Tell me,” she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, “We’ve both been out here for many months. You must have been lonely. When was the last time you played around? She stares into his eyes.
He can’t believe what he’s hearing. “You mean…” he swallows excitedly as tears start to form in his eyes,
“You’ve built a Golf Course?”
photosfromtheloonybin
Sep 30, 2014 @ 05:04:53
O….M…..G!!!!! That is hilarous :).
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benzeknees
Sep 30, 2014 @ 18:38:22
It got me when I first read it too!
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Beth Ann
Sep 30, 2014 @ 05:59:39
Did not see that coming. Hahahahahhahahha!
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benzeknees
Sep 30, 2014 @ 18:39:05
This was a good one & when you go back & read what she asks him you can see how he might have misinterpreted it!
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Beth Ann
Sep 30, 2014 @ 18:48:52
It made me laugh. A lot!! Which is a very good thing!
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Mishka Jenkins
Sep 30, 2014 @ 06:03:55
Ha! That’s awesome 😀
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benzeknees
Sep 30, 2014 @ 18:39:26
I liked it too!
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Carrie Rubin
Sep 30, 2014 @ 06:20:55
Figures. 🙂 Thanks for a fun laugh to start my day!
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benzeknees
Sep 30, 2014 @ 18:39:49
You’re welcome Carrie! How are you?
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Carrie Rubin
Sep 30, 2014 @ 19:13:42
Good. Thank you. Hope you are too. 🙂
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pouringmyartout
Sep 30, 2014 @ 13:23:28
you had me going
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benzeknees
Sep 30, 2014 @ 18:40:15
I just read your new tag line – I want my money back!
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pouringmyartout
Sep 30, 2014 @ 19:24:23
I have a tag line???
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Gibber
Sep 30, 2014 @ 14:00:15
GOLFING?!! What the?! lol
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benzeknees
Sep 30, 2014 @ 18:40:35
Don’t you think golfing is romantic?
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Gibber
Sep 30, 2014 @ 18:47:18
pft
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Ron
Sep 30, 2014 @ 19:09:02
Benze, I was TOTALLY surprised by the ending. HILARIOUS!
Thanks for the great laugh, my friend!
X
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benzeknees
Sep 30, 2014 @ 20:54:12
What little I can do . . .
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Elyse
Sep 30, 2014 @ 19:50:42
Groan …
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benzeknees
Sep 30, 2014 @ 20:54:31
It wasn’t that bad, was it?
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Elyse
Oct 01, 2014 @ 04:32:26
Golf always makes me groan!
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benzeknees
Oct 02, 2014 @ 11:09:49
Isn’t it the most boring game in the world? 🙂
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benzeknees
Oct 01, 2014 @ 22:10:41
Because your back hurts after your swing? Or your feet hurt after walking 18 holes?
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Elyse
Oct 02, 2014 @ 03:57:43
Because golf is boring.
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Margarita
Oct 01, 2014 @ 11:31:41
I was waiting for something…but this was funnier than anything I’d imagined! xoxoM
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benzeknees
Oct 01, 2014 @ 22:11:08
I’m glad, I like the twisty ones!
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