Two crocodiles were sitting by the side of the swamp near the river..
The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, “I can’t understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We’re the same age. We were the same size as kids. I just don’t get it.”
“Well,” said the big Croc, “What have you been eating?”
“Politicians, same as you,” replied the small Croc.
“Hmm.. Well, where do you catch them?”
“Down the other side of the swamp near the parking lot by the Parliament Buildings.”
“Same here. Hmm. How do you catch them?”
“Well, I crawl up under one of their Lexus cars and wait for one to unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the shit out of them and eat ’em!”
“Ah!” says the big Crocodile, “I think I see your problem. You’re not getting any real nourishment. See, by the time you finish shaking the shit out of a Politician, there’s nothing left but an asshole and a briefcase.”
***************************************************************
Since we were travelling in the North this weekend:
behindthemaskofabuse
Oct 01, 2013 @ 12:55:12
I love the politician one!!
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benzeknees
Oct 01, 2013 @ 13:02:35
Wow, you’re fast – I just pushed the publish button a couple minutes ago! We were up in Grande Prairie this weekend, anywhere near your neck of the woods?
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behindthemaskofabuse
Oct 01, 2013 @ 13:03:26
Ahaha! Yes I am. Yes you’re about 20 mins. from me. Ha!
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pouringmyartout
Oct 01, 2013 @ 13:05:40
A good joke with a better message… sweet…
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benzeknees
Oct 01, 2013 @ 13:47:02
Thanks – this means a lot from the “King of Funny”
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pouringmyartout
Oct 01, 2013 @ 16:08:26
I got promoted again?
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benzeknees
Oct 02, 2013 @ 11:19:41
No, it was just understood – I thought you knew?
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pouringmyartout
Oct 02, 2013 @ 11:27:08
I know nothing… I am the Sgt. Schultz of the world!
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benzeknees
Oct 02, 2013 @ 11:37:32
Ja volt!
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pouringmyartout
Oct 02, 2013 @ 11:49:47
I know nussing!
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Angie
Oct 01, 2013 @ 13:45:47
Great post and I’m safe 😀 😀 😀
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benzeknees
Oct 02, 2013 @ 11:51:38
Glad to hear it!
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El Guapo
Oct 01, 2013 @ 14:22:08
The first joke elicited a reaction of half laughter, half bitter.
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benzeknees
Oct 01, 2013 @ 14:30:20
Seems even more apropos after hearing about what your congress just did.
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Carrie Rubin
Oct 01, 2013 @ 14:26:02
After what happened in the US Congress last night, I’d have to say the political joke is right on the mark. Sadly. Have fun in your travels. Watch out for that bear gang. 🙂
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benzeknees
Oct 01, 2013 @ 14:31:44
We’re already back. We had to travel to Grande Prairie because hubby had a job interview. Seems like a nice town, just in the wrong direction. I would prefer to move south instead of further away from the kids.
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Carrie Rubin
Oct 01, 2013 @ 14:32:40
Understandable. 🙂
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John Erickson
Oct 01, 2013 @ 15:11:51
Looks like that Canadian gang is pretty grizzly. Gotta watch out for that other gang, a seemingly delightful group that can really wreak havoc – the chocolate moose! 😀
Squirrels gathering nuts, you say? Hm – wonder if I can pack enough squirrels into a Cavalier to do away with Congress…… 😉
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benzeknees
Oct 02, 2013 @ 11:20:37
Maybe your politicians should work for only nuts?
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John Erickson
Oct 02, 2013 @ 12:07:02
Many of our GOP Reps DO work for nuts. John Boehner and Ted Cruz, I believe are the names…..
(Dang, did I just get political in public? Oops…. 😉 )
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Ron
Oct 01, 2013 @ 18:18:53
“See, by the time you finish shaking the shit out of a Politician, there’s nothing left but an asshole and a briefcase.”
Bwhahahahahhaha! That was HYSTERICAL!
Thanks for the awesome Tuesday laughs!
Have a great time on your travels this weekend!
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benzeknees
Oct 02, 2013 @ 11:21:28
Reminds me of the shark joke – about why sharks circle their victims first!
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List of X
Oct 01, 2013 @ 21:38:20
I’d recommend shaking out the shit anyway, and make up for lost calories by eating more politicians. For example, we have plenty of Republican ones (and maybe a bunch of Democrats) who aren’t doing anything productive anyway, ever.
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benzeknees
Oct 02, 2013 @ 11:22:30
Well, at least they would be good for crocodile food.
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