This is starting to become a habit, showing up on Tuesday, I’ll have to watch myself . . . This week was even more difficult because Monday (yesterday) was a civic holiday so we had an extra day off which totally messes with my brain as far as what day it is.
Someone has finally explained the reason baby diapers have brand names such as “Luvs” & “Huggies”, while undergarments for old people are called “Depends.”
You see, when babies mess their pants, people are still gonna Luv’em & Hug’em. However, when old people mess their pants, it “Depends” on who’s in the will.
********************
Pamela Wallin called Mike Duffy into her office one day and said, “Mike, I have a plan to win back Canadian support for you, Patrick Brazeau & me”
“Great Pamela, but how?” asked Mike.
“We’ll get some cheesy clothes & shoes, like those Middle Class Canadians wear, then stop at the pound & pick up a Labrador retriever. Then, we’ll go to a nice old country bar in Alberta & show them how much admiration & respect we have for the hard working people living there.”
So they did & found just the place they were looking for in Coronation, Alberta. With the dog in tow, they walked inside & stepped up to the bar.
The Bartender took a step back & said, “Hey! Aren’t you Mike Duffy & Pamela Wallin?”
“Yes we are!” said Pamela, “And what a lovely town you have here. We were passing through & Mike suggested we stop & take in some local color.”
They ordered a round of bourbon for the whole bar & started chatting up a storm with anyone who would listen.
A few minutes later, a grizzled old rancher came in, walked up to the Labrador, lifted up its tail, looked underneath, shrugged his shoulders & walked out. A few moments later, in came another old rancher. He walked up to the dog, lifted up its tail, looked underneath, scratched his head & left the bar.
For the next hour, another dozen ranchers came in, lifted the dog’s tail & left shaking their heads.
Finally, Pamela asked, “Why did all those old ranchers come in & look under the dog’s tail? Is it some sort of custom?”
“Lord no,” said the bartender. “Someone’s out there running around town, claiming there’s a Labrador Retriever in here with two assholes!”
Tickle Me Tuesday – 080514
August 5, 2014
funny, Tickle Me Tuesday 28 Comments
serins
Aug 05, 2014 @ 01:36:48
LOL! The two jokes are awesome. Just what you need on this Thuesday.
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benzeknees
Aug 05, 2014 @ 16:02:58
Thank you! Glad they picked up what sounds like a rough day!
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1jaded1
Aug 05, 2014 @ 02:31:31
Funny…and number 1 is probably true.
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benzeknees
Aug 05, 2014 @ 16:03:21
I betcha!
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Life With The Top Down
Aug 05, 2014 @ 03:43:14
Good morning laugh to get my day started.
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benzeknees
Aug 05, 2014 @ 16:04:40
Thanks, glad it started your day off right!
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FlaHam
Aug 05, 2014 @ 04:48:01
Benze, Thank you, you have jump started my day with a chuckle. Have a great one yourself. Bill
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benzeknees
Aug 05, 2014 @ 16:04:56
Thanks Bill!
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Carrie Rubin
Aug 05, 2014 @ 06:53:12
Thanks for the morning laugh! Hope you’re doing okay. 🙂
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benzeknees
Aug 05, 2014 @ 16:05:28
I’ll have to do an update!
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pouringmyartout
Aug 05, 2014 @ 08:10:18
The diaper one made me laugh but feel a little sad at the same time. I have already told my kids that the code for ‘a number two’ in the old Depends is: ‘It’s boom boom time.”
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benzeknees
Aug 05, 2014 @ 16:06:03
Boom boom time! Is that what you called it when your kids needed a diaper change?
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pouringmyartout
Aug 05, 2014 @ 16:33:53
Uh… I did… when they were little… and soon… it will be my turn to announce that it is ‘boom boom time’… oh yeah… and I even told them that if I couldn’t talk, then three rapid double-eye blinks mean the same thing. HA!
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Ron
Aug 05, 2014 @ 08:39:04
Bwhahahahahha! Benze, both of these are PRICELESS!
“However, when old people mess their pants, it “Depends” on who’s in the will.”
Cracked me up!
Thanks for the great Tuesday laughs. Hope you’re feeling better, my friend 🙂
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benzeknees
Aug 05, 2014 @ 16:06:50
Good days & bad days Ron! Trying to tilt the scale a little more to the good side.
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Margarita
Aug 05, 2014 @ 09:20:59
That got a nice belly laugh out of me. Thank you! 😉 xoxoM
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benzeknees
Aug 05, 2014 @ 16:07:20
I hope you were alone when you belly laughed Margarita!
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Margarita
Aug 06, 2014 @ 10:25:14
No, my sweet husband was around, so I shared. Still laughing! 😉 xoxoM
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Elyse
Aug 05, 2014 @ 09:58:27
Ah, Tuesday! Glad you’re up to these again — looking forward to you feeling better (which results in more posts) — but mostly to know that you’re feeling better.
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benzeknees
Aug 05, 2014 @ 16:07:45
Thank Elyse, doing my best!
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Gibber
Aug 05, 2014 @ 10:46:40
Bawhahaha!
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benzeknees
Aug 05, 2014 @ 16:08:06
I hope that wasn’t a spitter laugh!
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Gibber
Aug 05, 2014 @ 16:10:48
If I had something to spit it would have been!
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Mark Petruska
Aug 06, 2014 @ 10:25:27
I’m about ready for another civic holiday myself!
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benzeknees
Aug 06, 2014 @ 18:00:47
Labour Day your next holiday?
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Mark Petruska
Aug 07, 2014 @ 08:51:43
Sure is. But we’re funny Americans and drop the “u.”
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bearmancartoons
Aug 08, 2014 @ 07:56:07
haha. I tell my nieces and nephews the one that wipes my butt when I am old is getting in the will
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benzeknees
Aug 08, 2014 @ 23:17:14
And they will deserve it!
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